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Bummin
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I am 39 and my wife is 38 and she told me that she was unhappy, loved me but not in love, and wanted a divorce about 2 weeks ago. She has gone through all the typical irrational behavior. Hanging out with friends more, talking about things she wants to do alone, being didstant, and somewhat angry. I am a great father to our 3 year old and a decent husband. My main issue is that I have not given my marriage the attention that it needed and I got complacent and didnt keep my self up emotionally, socially, and physically. I would actually tell her that we should have never married and that we were too different. I should have been supporting her feelings and helping her. Instead I didnt see the early stages of MLC and pushed her out the door due to my own insecurities and issues.
I have since seen a therapist and I have been the husband I should have been since she told me she wanted out. Initially she told me that I was too late and that she had moved on emotionally and wanted to be alone. She is working long hours. She has not cheated but she is having some thoughts that I know are not good. She is going to the marriage therapist that I am seeing on Monday. She is nervous but at least she is going of her own will.
We had a good talk tonight and I told her if she can steer through this without cheating on me that we have a chance. Even if we dont make it, at least I will be able to have a relationship with her for our son's sake after we split. I don't know if she will be able to resist, but I am keeping the faith, staying positive and happy, and most of all, as hard as it may be, I am supporting her and giving her as much space as possible.
That's my story as of 9:55PM on 6/10/08. I am devastated and can't imagine losing her. She is incredibley beautiful and the most incredible person socially. The absolute spark in every room she enters. I am extremely thankful for this site. This is exactly what I was looking for.