I'll cut right to the chase: I think my parents taught me that love is putting up with a lot of ill treatment and staying no matter what.

My own notion of love was that it would be like having a best friend and lover for the rest of my life, and we would have little problems but we'd adjust. »more»

The recently release study "Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in Patients with Serious Medical Illness" sheds some disappointing light on "partner abandonment"--the term for separation/divorce during a period of serious illness and the role that gender plays. »more»

Much ado this week about David Letterman's forced acknowledgment of his affair with his assistant Stephanie Birkitt. According to research reported in a recent Newsweek story they are far from alone in engaging in an office romance: »more»

While we joke about mother-in-laws, it is a complex relationship filled with conflict potential. Since understanding a problem is the first step to solving it, having a book like Terri Apter's "What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws" is a good starting point. »more»

In working with divorcing couples, reemployment of an “at-home” spouse is a recurring theme. »more»

No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.

It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.

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Like many of you other mediators out there, I am always very pained to read accounts of our celebrity brethren who are struggling with their marriages. The media is insistent. The klieg lights focused on these people in distress are glaring. They are experiencing their own personal marital problems, but under a microscope of public view. »more»

I have a question for which I have NO idea how to find the answer. »more»

Sandra Tsing Loh is a demi-celebrity among Los Angeles's NPR-listening classes. The onetime performance artist turned author and radio commentator either amuses or annoys. Now her piece in the July Atlantic -- which uses her affair and forthcoming divorce as the stepping-off point for a sweeping attack on modern marriage -- has, for many, gone way past annoying and into anger at her analysis -- and at Loh herself. »more»

My MLC got me searching for the deeper meanings of life. I'm putting this construct forth as my opinion because it might not look meaningful to you but I think it might help some people.

Why does a spouse cheat? Why do we want to find lovers in real life or online, and get that excitement? Why do we worry and fret about aging? All of this when we know better. »more»