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before I die, self-help

Your Own Personal Stile

hlesbrown's picture

No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.

It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.

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The lure of negativity

Lisa's picture

My MLC got me searching for the deeper meanings of life. I'm putting this construct forth as my opinion because it might not look meaningful to you but I think it might help some people.

Why does a spouse cheat? Why do we want to find lovers in real life or online, and get that excitement? Why do we worry and fret about aging? All of this when we know better. »more»

Commit or Die

hlesbrown's picture

Last Friday, I had an unsettling experience. I've been spending the past few months scouring the web, looking for places where men leave — and find — wisdom-droppings. You know what I mean by 'wisdom-droppings' don't you? »more»

OMG...Is Oprah Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

shepherdess56's picture

OMG…Is Oprah having a Mid-life Crisis? »more»

When Will I Ever Learn?

hlesbrown's picture

For both men and women, there are five stages of life: childhood, adolescence, adulthood, midlife, and maturity. Two of those stages are transition periods (adolescence and midlife), and these two have very many transitions in common. One of the biggest is the changes in sex hormone levels: in adolescence, they're increasing; in midlife, they're decreasing. »more»

The Other Side of the Mountain

hlesbrown's picture

Just because I've made it "over the hill" doesn't necessarily mean that it's smooth sailing from now on. As a matter of fact, think back to when you were a teenager still walking riding your bike everywhere you wanted to go. Couldn't you just taste the freedom and all the possibilities that were waiting for you when you reached those magic ages: 16, 18, 21? »more»

Living a Life of Regret

hlesbrown's picture

Emily Dickinson wrote, "Remorse is cureless, the disease not even God can heal." 'Remorse' arises as a sorrow for past decisions that you've made, while 'regret' serves as a broader, more useful term, describing a wish that you'd made other choices in the past: choices either to avoid doing something that you've done or to do something that you avoided. »more»

Happiness Week Day 5: Just Do It!

Wesley's picture

Welcome to our fifth of seven days of Happiness Week -- LifeTwo's series of articles and quick exercises to help you improve your level of happiness. If you are just joining us, please read this post first. »more»

"Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar; Road map to your ultimate and inalienable right to be happy

Wesley's picture

"Happier" is the latest book by Harvard professor Tal Ben-Shahar, who teaches the most highly attended course at the university--Positive Psychology. The book distills those lessons into a form that you -- with time and effort -- can use. »more»

Three Best Tips for Midlife Living

Wesley's picture

I was recently interviewed by Life Bite’s Nina Boski for her Sirius radio program and was asked my three biggest tips for maximizing life in the middle age years. Here is my list: »more»