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men, marriage

Not Feel Good Ending: When Medical Crises Hit, Men Leave, Women Stay

Wesley's picture

The recently release study "Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in Patients with Serious Medical Illness" sheds some disappointing light on "partner abandonment"--the term for separation/divorce during a period of serious illness and the role that gender plays. »more»

Your Own Personal Stile

hlesbrown's picture

No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.

It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.

»more»

Adult level question - Possibly NSFW

DazedAndConfused's picture

I have a question for which I have NO idea how to find the answer. »more»

Pink Floyd's "Keep Talking"

DazedAndConfused's picture

This is one of the most haunting songs I've ever heard. This song has to be about MLC, depression, divorce, etc. It starts with a male voice on the left and the female voice on the right. After the crosses, the sides switch.

"For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happenend which unleashed the power of our imagination. »more»

What do you do if you hate yourself over an "emotional affair?"

DazedAndConfused's picture

I had never heard the term "emotional affair" before I stumbled over it in an online article about a month ago. When I read the column, I sat at my computer in numb recognition, followed by a sense of grief and horror. I was in one and I hadn't realized what it was or how dangerous and painful it was going to be. »more»

The Boomer Survival Guide

hlesbrown's picture

What an absolutely amazing time to be a 'Boomer! If you're a person who likes a challenge, you'll absolutely love 2009! »more»

Fall Out or The Ripple Effect of an Affair

shepherdess56's picture

Fall out from past mistakes will cause a ripple effect in your marriage/rleaionships, IF they are not dealt with in a healthy manner. »more»

The Possible End of a First Marriage, and I Don't Believe in Second Marriages

simply.human's picture

I never thought I would be looking online for information or shared stories about possible divorce. »more»

Is a Mid Life Crisis an illness?

FlyOnDaWall's picture

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard someone affected by their MLC say "I'm so glad I now realise I'm not alone, I thought that I was going crazy", when what they should be saying is "I'm so glad that I now realise that I am not the only one going crazy". »more»

Repent! The End Is Near!

hlesbrown's picture

Well . . . to be honest with you, the end is near whether or not you choose to repent: the end of the year 2008, that is. We humans have a particular affinity for the ending of things: like graduations and funerals (not that there's any other similarity between the two). Yet, we mark transitions at least partly by looking backward while, at the same time, we're looking forward. »more»