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work-life balance Discussions

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Start Here: Our Key Articles About work-life balance

Midlife Career Change Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Wesley's picture

Your career choice impacts your quality of life, standard of living, personal identity, and much more. By the time you hit middle age, career changes are far from easy, but many people feel a mismatch with the career that they had selected earlier in life and want to at least explore the possibility of pursuing a new career. Are you one of these people? »more»

Can You Organize Your Way To Happiness (And Health Too)?

Greg's picture

Happiness for some may mean a bike ride at dawn, or spending time kicking a soccer ball with the kids. But for a part of humanity -- maybe even you -- happiness is checking items off a to-do list or contemplating an empty email inbox.

Odd? Certainly to some. But what they would consider borderline obsessive-compulsive behavior may also make the productivity-obsessed happier and healthier. »more»

Our Most Recent Articles About work-life balance

Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year... Having More Fun"

Wesley's picture

There may be no more perfect book for the LifeTwo audience than Gretchen Rubin's new book "The Happiness Project". Rubin spent a year as a one person focus group testing every possible way to increase personal happiness. Part memoir and part "how to fix your life", "The Happiness Project" is a joy to read. »more»

Time to get organized: Buffet Time Management for Creative People

BFoster's picture

You can usually spot a creative person because they seem lost and confused or doing too many things at once. Time management simply bedevils creative types. Whether it’s keeping focused on projects or just getting the stuff of life done, a bubbling cauldron of chaos is usually close at hand. »more»

Who Am I?

hlesbrown's picture

As I've often written, midlife has little or nothing to do with age. It happens when it happens. It's a psycho-spiritual event, a transformation from adult to maturity, from self-confidence to serenity. The demarcation area (midlife) can be identified by one overwhelming feeling: fear. Even more specifically, it's a fear of 'losing it' (whatever 'it' may be). You don't even have to be able to identify what 'it' is: all you need to recognize the midlife transition is to experience the fear of losing it. Dealing effectively with that fear takes you to maturity; failing to address it leads you to midlife crisis. So, how can you deal effectively with what is very often a nameless fear? All you need to acquire (and, incidentally, this constitutes the essence of the spiritual transition) is a deeper self-knowledge. You don't really 'need' anything . . . you have everything you require.

Want some help? Here's a little exercise that I've put together for you to help you to work through this transition. The instructions are simple: a) Write down your answers; b) Do not read beyond this paragraph until you're finished with the exercise;. c) Work through each of the three phases of the exercise in order. That's it! It should take you approximately a half-hour to complete the exercise. Ready to begin?

  1. Complete this sentence "I am a _____________" as many times as you can, each time filling in the blank with a different word or phrase (a minimum of 20 times).
  2. For each of the statements you wrote down in phase 1, re-write each statement with at least 5 different descriptors (for example: "I am a married [descriptor] man [word or phrase from phase 1]."
  3. For each descriptor-word (or phrase) set, circle the ones that are virtually impossible to change (for example: your height, your IQ, your sexual identity). Make sure that you only circle the impossible characteristics, not the merely difficult.

When you've completed your list and circled the appropriate characteristics, only then read on.

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Your Own Personal Stile

hlesbrown's picture

No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.

It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.

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What You Want vs. What You Need

hlesbrown's picture

Recently, from a business, personal, and spiritual perspective, I've been doing a lot of meditating on [apparent] failure. Right now, I can't think of a more apropos topic for people facing and experiencing the midlife transition. For one thing, your successes don't precipitate a midlife crisis. In fact, an uninterrupted string of successes can actually insulate you from undergoing the midlife transition, leaving you for longer than expected — and longer than necessary — state of im-maturity. When you're 'blessed' with success, you may be getting what you want, but to your own detriment: not getting what you really need.

I ardently agree with Friedrich Nietzsche that "What does not kill me, makes me stronger." The contrary, may very well also be true: What pampers me, makes me weaker. Getting your own way may, for a time, seem like a triumph; but, is it really? Does it actually move you forward, or does it, more often than not, lead you further into imminent trouble? Do negative consequences hold you back in fact, or are they, rather, 'medicinal blessings'?

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End of Times?? Make a bucket list.

Soupseeds's picture

A good friend of mine is convinced that the world is nearing the end of times. This is a topic that she and I differ on. I come at it from my knowledge of history, sociology, world events, and even world religions and I'm not quite sure where she's coming at it from. I think online bible study and her family. Who is right? Who is wrong? »more»

. . . The Wisdom to Know the Difference

hlesbrown's picture

One of the most difficult virtues to attain is wisdom. Nobody becomes wise through an accident of birth or by osmosis. As has often been said, wisdom derives from good judgment, which, in turn, derives from bad judgment — and an awful lot of it. »more»

Avoiding the 'Drop' One Day at a Time

hlesbrown's picture

You may or may not recognize the 'drop,' depending on your age and what are of the country or the world you may be inhabiting. The 'drop' is that cataclysmic moment when the executioner pulls the lever, the trap door flops down, and the condemned plummets earthward . . . to an extent. »more»

When You Stand at the Turning Point

hlesbrown's picture

You have competency. That's not enough. You have experience. So do a lot of other people. You have long-term loyalty. That's not relevant. You have a family, a mortgage, car payments, expenses, tuition. It's not even a consideration. You're over fifty; it's too late to start over for crying out loud! Nobody's listening. »more»

The Arrogance of Self-Destruction

hlesbrown's picture

Yesterday evening, I was working away at my desk, prepping for my Thursday evening internet radio program, when up pops an e-mail announcing that I had been befriended by someone over at BlogCatalog.com. Curious (I have few friends over there, since I'm a recent member), I stopped by to view that person's work. »more»

Are You a Midlife Entrepreneur?

hlesbrown's picture

Here's to a new beginning. You're off to a fresh start. You have new hope, new prospects, new horizons, a new vision. Your life is half over, you're dissatisfied with what you've accomplished, and here's your chance to get moving. No time like the present, you say. »more»

The Mystique of the New

hlesbrown's picture

The year has changed . . . how about you? What changes are facing you in 2009? If you're a man in midlife, change has probably caught you like the incoming tide and is carrying you along with its often-understated power. Now, the question remains: what are you going to do about it? »more»

OMG...Is Oprah Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

shepherdess56's picture

OMG…Is Oprah having a Mid-life Crisis? »more»

Is a Mid Life Crisis an illness?

FlyOnDaWall's picture

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard someone affected by their MLC say "I'm so glad I now realise I'm not alone, I thought that I was going crazy", when what they should be saying is "I'm so glad that I now realise that I am not the only one going crazy". »more»

Review: Skirts in the Boardroom; A woman's survival guide to success in business and life

Wesley's picture

Aimed at working women, "SKIRTS" is an advice-laden guide that provides strategies for moving up the corporate ladder in a male dominated business world. LifeTwo recommends that members read at least three (and preferably four to five) business books each year. Why so many? »more»