Start Here: Our Key Articles About midlife crisis - man / male
Submitted by Greg on August 7, 2006 - 4:51pm.
This "Twenty Questions About Midlife Crisis" section is an ongoing effort to collect all of LifeTwo's best information about midlife crisis in one place. »more»
Submitted by Greg on August 23, 2006 - 2:39pm.
The conventional wisdom is that midlife crises usually feature extramarital affairs.
But one may have little to do with the other.
Middle-aged people -- of either gender -- have affairs. But many have nothing to do with the usual midlife crisis. Rather, they are the result of placing low value on the relationship, and poor bonding with one's spouse. »more»
Submitted by Greg on August 24, 2006 - 11:01am.
Our research into midlife crisis has convinced us that there's no such thing.
No one thing, anyway. »more»
Submitted by Greg on July 19, 2006 - 11:46pm.
While researching her book The Breaking Point: How Today's Women Are Navigating Midlife Crisis, Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger discovered that "women not only undergo bigger changes than men in middle age, but they also by some measures have a more positive attitude about their prospects in life."
One key source was "Turning Points In Adulthood," a chapter in the MacArthur Foundation's "How Healthy Are We? A National Study of Well-Being At Midlife." It shows that men and women are distinctly different in a measure of life fulfillment.
Researchers found that before 50, less women than men feel they have "fulfilled a special dream" in the last five years (24% vs 40%). But after 50, women's fulfillment goes up -- to 36% -- while men's falls to about 28%. »more»
Submitted by Wesley on January 31, 2008 - 10:29am.
According to a comprehensive study of data from 80 countries, researchers at Britain's Warwick University and America's Dartmouth College have confirmed what people in their forties have known for years, middle age is indeed truly miserable. Researchers discovered that "for both men and women the probability of depression peaks around 44 years of age. »more»
Submitted by Greg on October 23, 2006 - 10:28pm.
Here's where we're going to put links to interesting "what I did during my midlife crisis" stories as we come across them ...
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Our Most Recent Articles About midlife crisis - man / male
Submitted by hlesbrown on August 9, 2009 - 11:56am.
As I've often written, midlife has little or nothing to do with age. It happens when it happens. It's a psycho-spiritual event, a transformation from adult to maturity, from self-confidence to serenity. The demarcation area (midlife) can be identified by one overwhelming feeling: fear. Even more specifically, it's a fear of 'losing it' (whatever 'it' may be). You don't even have to be able to identify what 'it' is: all you need to recognize the midlife transition is to experience the fear of losing it. Dealing effectively with that fear takes you to maturity; failing to address it leads you to midlife crisis. So, how can you deal effectively with what is very often a nameless fear? All you need to acquire (and, incidentally, this constitutes the essence of the spiritual transition) is a deeper self-knowledge. You don't really 'need' anything . . . you have everything you require.
Want some help? Here's a little exercise that I've put together for you to help you to work through this transition. The instructions are simple: a) Write down your answers; b) Do not read beyond this paragraph until you're finished with the exercise;. c) Work through each of the three phases of the exercise in order. That's it! It should take you approximately a half-hour to complete the exercise. Ready to begin?
- Complete this sentence "I am a _____________" as many times as you can, each time filling in the blank with a different word or phrase (a minimum of 20 times).
- For each of the statements you wrote down in phase 1, re-write each statement with at least 5 different descriptors (for example: "I am a married [descriptor] man [word or phrase from phase 1]."
- For each descriptor-word (or phrase) set, circle the ones that are virtually impossible to change (for example: your height, your IQ, your sexual identity). Make sure that you only circle the impossible characteristics, not the merely difficult.
When you've completed your list and circled the appropriate characteristics, only then read on.
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Submitted by hlesbrown on August 9, 2009 - 11:52am.
No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.
It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.
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Submitted by hlesbrown on August 9, 2009 - 11:49am.
Recently, from a business, personal, and spiritual perspective, I've been doing a lot of meditating on [apparent] failure. Right now, I can't think of a more apropos topic for people facing and experiencing the midlife transition. For one thing, your successes don't precipitate a midlife crisis. In fact, an uninterrupted string of successes can actually insulate you from undergoing the midlife transition, leaving you for longer than expected — and longer than necessary — state of im-maturity. When you're 'blessed' with success, you may be getting what you want, but to your own detriment: not getting what you really need.
I ardently agree with Friedrich Nietzsche that "What does not kill me, makes me stronger." The contrary, may very well also be true: What pampers me, makes me weaker. Getting your own way may, for a time, seem like a triumph; but, is it really? Does it actually move you forward, or does it, more often than not, lead you further into imminent trouble? Do negative consequences hold you back in fact, or are they, rather, 'medicinal blessings'?
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Submitted by amatchmadein7 on August 2, 2009 - 10:45pm.
Who’s who? Why not show them the real you? »more»
Submitted by amatchmadein7 on July 24, 2009 - 1:32pm.
Here are some characteristics which men have shared that they do not like in women:
Hair- Untouchable, over processed or bleached, roots showing, badly colored, extreme styling
Nails - dirty, chipped or peeling polish, wild or garish nail color, ultra extreme lengths
Clothing - too revealing, too tight, not appropriate for the planned activity, overdressed, untouchable »more»
Submitted by amatchmadein7 on July 23, 2009 - 1:12am.
Yesterday’s blog focused on how to make a favorable first impression. Sometimes, it can be just as important to know what to avoid. Today’s entry offers some traits which women have shared that they do not like in men:
Hair- Obvious comb-overs in order to disguise balding, badly fitted hairpieces, hair too long and dated, extreme hairstyles - too punk or too old, uncombed »more»
Submitted by amatchmadein7 on July 23, 2009 - 1:02am.
What's not to like? First impressions count! Got an initial in person meeting coming up? Don't miss this week’s blog posts: How not to disappoint. »more»
Submitted by DazedAndConfused on June 23, 2009 - 11:16am.
This is one of the most haunting songs I've ever heard. This song has to be about MLC, depression, divorce, etc. It starts with a male voice on the left and the female voice on the right. After the crosses, the sides switch.
"For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals.
Then something happenend which unleashed the power of our imagination. »more»
Submitted by DazedAndConfused on June 22, 2009 - 3:55pm.
I had never heard the term "emotional affair" before I stumbled over it in an online article about a month ago. When I read the column, I sat at my computer in numb recognition, followed by a sense of grief and horror. I was in one and I hadn't realized what it was or how dangerous and painful it was going to be. »more»
Submitted by BFoster on April 30, 2009 - 9:58am.
The guy who divorces his wife, gets a hot girlfriend and buys a red Corvette is a hoary but oft repeated stereotype of a man going through a midlife crisis. It’s unclear what comes first, the girlfriend or the sports car but that doesn’t really matter. I work with men going through mid life transitions and to my knowledge, not one of them owns a sports car. »more»
Submitted by hlesbrown on April 6, 2009 - 8:55am.
Our local Giant supermarket has introduced hand scanners so that you can just walk up and down the aisles, collecting your groceries, while scanning them and bagging them right in your cart. Checkout involves downloading the inventory from the hand scanner into a self-serve checkout station. It's pretty cool. »more»
Submitted by hlesbrown on April 6, 2009 - 8:17am.
One of the most difficult virtues to attain is wisdom. Nobody becomes wise through an accident of birth or by osmosis. As has often been said, wisdom derives from good judgment, which, in turn, derives from bad judgment — and an awful lot of it. »more»
Submitted by hlesbrown on March 16, 2009 - 1:16pm.
Several years ago, my friend, Dr. Jed Diamond explained how masculine acculturation was creating a huge obstacle for men in the workforce: both young and old. »more»
Submitted by hlesbrown on March 16, 2009 - 11:56am.
You may or may not recognize the 'drop,' depending on your age and what are of the country or the world you may be inhabiting. The 'drop' is that cataclysmic moment when the executioner pulls the lever, the trap door flops down, and the condemned plummets earthward . . . to an extent. »more»
midlife crisis - man / male : Books, Websites, and Other Resources
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