Though ancient, the practice of mediation is enjoying significant contemporary popularity. But can meditation help with midlife and/or marital woes (the subject of this site)? »more»

We all want to be happy but how exactly does one go about becoming happy? »more»

When you wake up in the morning what’s the first thing you think? Is it: “What a glorious day, I can’t wait to get up and see what this day brings.” How about at the end of the day? Are you smiling, feeling creative and energized? If not, do you think your attitude would be better if you thought more positively? »more»

Do you know what you really want in life? Have you taken the time to really slow down long enough to take stock of just where you are and where you want to go? What do you think of your life as it is? »more»

As I've often written, midlife has little or nothing to do with age. It happens when it happens. It's a psycho-spiritual event, a transformation from adult to maturity, from self-confidence to serenity. The demarcation area (midlife) can be identified by one overwhelming feeling: fear. Even more specifically, it's a fear of 'losing it' (whatever 'it' may be). You don't even have to be able to identify what 'it' is: all you need to recognize the midlife transition is to experience the fear of losing it. Dealing effectively with that fear takes you to maturity; failing to address it leads you to midlife crisis. So, how can you deal effectively with what is very often a nameless fear? All you need to acquire (and, incidentally, this constitutes the essence of the spiritual transition) is a deeper self-knowledge. You don't really 'need' anything . . . you have everything you require.

Want some help? Here's a little exercise that I've put together for you to help you to work through this transition. The instructions are simple: a) Write down your answers; b) Do not read beyond this paragraph until you're finished with the exercise;. c) Work through each of the three phases of the exercise in order. That's it! It should take you approximately a half-hour to complete the exercise. Ready to begin?

1. Complete this sentence "I am a _____________" as many times as you can, each time filling in the blank with a different word or phrase (a minimum of 20 times).
2. For each of the statements you wrote down in phase 1, re-write each statement with at least 5 different descriptors (for example: "I am a married [descriptor] man [word or phrase from phase 1]."
3. For each descriptor-word (or phrase) set, circle the ones that are virtually impossible to change (for example: your height, your IQ, your sexual identity). Make sure that you only circle the impossible characteristics, not the merely difficult.

When you've completed your list and circled the appropriate characteristics, only then read on.

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No, it's not a misspelling (and yes, I do make frequent use of my spell-checker). As our agrarian past fades from our collective memory, so will the images of pastoral scenes, farm implements, and, yes, even stiles. I even had some trouble finding a decent photo of one (and this one's from England, where the rural life still survives). What made me think of a 'stile' (a ladder providing access over a fence or wall) today was an interview I had last night with Rabbi Ed Weinsberg. Ed faced and overcame the challenges of prostate cancer just a very few years ago, and he's written a book that documents his story (and others) for the benefit of the 1/6 of all men who'll be facing that disease. For Ed, the experience catapulted him to a higher appreciation of faith, love, and even sex.

It's a fact of the human condition: transitions never come easily. They always appear as an interruption in the kind of life we desire and even plan for: a life of security, tranquility, ease, and peace. Yet, as I've written fairly often, the so-called 'interruption' is the reality, the sense of security is the illusion. Our 'common sense' lies to us, and tries to convince us that these disruptive events that come hurtling like projectiles into our lives are obstacles to our happiness and progress. Obstacles? Or, are they, in fact, the steps that take us up and over the obstacles? I submit to you that, just perhaps, these disruptions — even the big and painful ones — are what stimulate change and growth and that, without them, we'd face stagnation and decay. "No pain, no gain" is true particularly because every change involves a painful separation from our status quo.

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Recently, from a business, personal, and spiritual perspective, I've been doing a lot of meditating on [apparent] failure. Right now, I can't think of a more apropos topic for people facing and experiencing the midlife transition. For one thing, your successes don't precipitate a midlife crisis. In fact, an uninterrupted string of successes can actually insulate you from undergoing the midlife transition, leaving you for longer than expected — and longer than necessary — state of im-maturity. When you're 'blessed' with success, you may be getting what you want, but to your own detriment: not getting what you really need.

I ardently agree with Friedrich Nietzsche that "What does not kill me, makes me stronger." The contrary, may very well also be true: What pampers me, makes me weaker. Getting your own way may, for a time, seem like a triumph; but, is it really? Does it actually move you forward, or does it, more often than not, lead you further into imminent trouble? Do negative consequences hold you back in fact, or are they, rather, 'medicinal blessings'?

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I have a question for which I have NO idea how to find the answer. »more»

Researchers using advanced brain imaging techniques and investigating the question "Why are we nice to others?" have confirmed what social psychologists have long suspected, because it makes us feel good. Furthermore, we are hard-wired to feel good when we good things for others. »more»

Is your dream machine stuck in a holding pattern? If you’ve been living on auto pilot; moving through one circumstance to another and doing only what you thought you should or had to do, you might want to spend a little time and effort on changing your routine. If you don’t find the time to explore your imagination how will you ever know what your dream is? »more»

My MLC got me searching for the deeper meanings of life. I'm putting this construct forth as my opinion because it might not look meaningful to you but I think it might help some people.

Why does a spouse cheat? Why do we want to find lovers in real life or online, and get that excitement? Why do we worry and fret about aging? All of this when we know better. »more»

Everyone knows that stress is a silent killer. But what to do about it? In addition to ridding yourself of the underlying causes of stress, experts advise Exercise, Sleep, and Mindful Relaxation all top the list. Below is a description of each and why it works taken from a recent LA Times Health section article.

Exercise: »more»

Last week I ran into several friends who were going through challenging times and feeling blue. We all have our days and those certain times in our lives that can feel like a struggle. We may not be able to quickly change the circumstance but we can most certainly change how we react to it. Sitting around thinking about how awful everything is will only make you feel worse. »more»

As a woman of a certain age:

Do you feel invisible? Do you feel a lack of realistic and inspiring examples of “someone just like you?” Do you feel this affects your self esteem and how you feel about yourself? »more»

This is one of the most haunting songs I've ever heard. This song has to be about MLC, depression, divorce, etc. It starts with a male voice on the left and the female voice on the right. After the crosses, the sides switch.

"For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happenend which unleashed the power of our imagination. »more»