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Why Do Men Go Through a Midlife Crisis?
In a thought-provoking Psychology Today article, evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa discusses why some men go through midlife crises:
As I mention in the previous post, from an evolutionary psychological perspective, spousal abuse is an extreme, maladaptive, and largely unintended consequence of a man’s desire for mate-guarding. Because of the possibility of cuckoldry (unwittingly investing in someone else’s genetic offspring), men are strongly motivated to guard their mates to make sure that they do not have sexual access to other men. And they use any means, including intimidation and violence, to achieve this goal. Unfortunately, sometimes their adaptive strategy of mate-guarding goes too far and results in a maladaptive outcome of spousal abuse and even murder.
Because young women are reproductively more valuable than older women, men are more motivated to protect and guard their younger wives than their older wives, with the unfortunate consequence that younger wives are at a greater risk of spousal abuse than older wives. This is why it is the wife’s age, not the husband’s, that predicts the likelihood of spousal abuse and murder. Even though a 50-year-old man is typically much less violent and criminal than a 25-year-old man, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman is much more likely to abuse and murder his wife than a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman (even though there are very few such men) or even a (more typical) 25-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman.
This is an excellent opportunity to shed evolutionary psychological light on a common misunderstanding, since it allows me to shift my attention from a dark topic like domestic violence and apply the same logic to a much lighter topic: the midlife crises. Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in midlife (in middle age). Close, but no cigar. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crisis, but it’s not because they are middle-aged but because their wives are. Just as it is the wife’s age, not the husband’s, that determines the risk of spousal abuse and murder, it is the wife’s age, not the husband’s, that prompts the constellation of behavior commonly known as a “midlife crisis.” From an evolutionary psychological perspective, a man’s midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife’s imminent menopause and the end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger, reproductive women.
Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis (he’d be too busy murdering his wife), while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would (although, once again, there are very few such couples), just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would. It is not his midlife that matters; it is hers. So when he buys a shiny red sportscar, he’s not really trying to regain his youth. For men, there is usually very little that’s good about being young so they would not want to relive their youth. Very few 50-year-old men would want to return to their life as a 25-year-old. He is instead trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.
LIfeTwo Readers: What do you think of this article?
Satoshi Kanazawa is also the author of "Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters". Amazon link. Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters: From Dating, Shopping, and Praying to Going to War and Becoming a Billionaire-- Two Evolutionary Psychologists Explain Why We Do What We Do
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Tags: midlife crisis - man / male | middle age | mid-life crisis | marriage
Type: Briefly Noted
How then does the writer
How then does the writer explain a MLC in gay/lesbian relationships?
How then does the writer explain why some MLC men have affairs and eventually leave their spouse for older women?
How then does the writer explain a MLC for a single/never married man or woman?
re:Why Do Men Go Through a Midlife Crisis?
This article seems very narrow minded, focused on a single possible situation yet lumping many men(or based on the article, all men) into a category. Can this theory be a realistic scenario in some relationships? I think so, but I will add that this would apply to a very small percentage, at least in my opinion.
I am more in the mindset of the affects of our surroundings, environment and events in a persons life is the cause and affect of MLC in later years. This would mean regardless if male or female, the layers of life events and how deeply hidden these events are and the level of severity of the events has an affect on midlife changes. Two people could go through a similar event as a child and how these people dealt with the events, the support system around them, the environment around them would possibly give two complete different lives after the events.
So I would say if the gentleman that wrote this is in the mindset of "this is why men go through midlife crisis" then he has such a narrow vision, and to me, he is not a very good psychologist. How can someone educated in the field or not, lump all into a single category when the possible reasons for MLC are infinate due to the fact we are all different, with different experiences, different ways of handeling experiences and different surroundings?
Be Well and Stay strong
Dave R
mid life what ???
WOW- what an enlightening article not to mention ruthless and depressing-
Is this how men are really wired??? That their spouses menopause causes them to seek out women of a reproductive age---- does that make all women about and above menopausal age useless and worthless simply because the reproductive time of our lives are over?? What a crock? I hope this isn't really "psychology" because if it is, well, what a sorry view of men it is.
I could not agree with you
I could not agree with you more. If that is really the case, be it concious or not, then really, what is the point. Women of a certain age are no longer desireable on any level due to lack of reproduction? If true, pathetic.
Old Dogs
I have been in the music business all my life . It was my 70th birthday and I decided to record this song entitled Old Dogs and share this with my Boomer friends . So far the response is to cool . it’s scheduled for Growing Bolder PBS /TV /Radio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inY6flQFaE&feature=youtube_gdata
All the best with your creative adventures Mickey
Mickey Carroll Grammy Nominee Gold Record Recipient
Why men hate women
You may also want to consider other perspectives on male violence towards women - for example, Adam Jukes' feminist and psychoanalytic theorising in 'Why Men Hate Women' (http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hate-Women-Adam-Jukes/dp/1853431958). I'm not sure that he's 'right', but his views are worth careful thought.
Andrew
It figures
Ah ha! So is this really the REAL reason why men in their 40s won't date women their own age? A women in their 40s is still reproductively viable if that is really all they are looking for - even younger women can not always have babies. I always thought the real reason was because they feared getting old and death and they thought if they dated a younger woman that in turn would make them younger (or they could pretend they were younger) - even though it doesn't - and that being with a women their own age reminds them that they are getting old too. Either way I am sick of listening to the excuses like "it is biology - I am a male. I can't help it." Yes, you can dude - if you really wanted too. Sorry you men out their who think women beyond a certain age are expired. No matter how young a girl you date - it will never make YOU any younger so you might as well wrap your brain around it once and for all and grow up!
Old Dogs /Mid Life Crisis
. I hope this finds you at your at your creative best . This is my latest update
Old Dogs on You Tube http://www.facebook.com/l/MAQCZh90KAQARSUQSM-XpfPIEJcZdnNkCcdGWAiUqSZgVVg/www.youtube.com/watch?v=8inY6flQFaE
Front page Orlando Sentinal http://www.facebook.com/l/bAQDrX4RMAQBW8Y-zIbVomMjVv7Jj-bLWWSDP18PDtVhoaQ/www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/lake/os-lk-mickey-carroll-story-20110905,0,5822488.story
PBS Radio/ TV / Radio Growing Bolder http://www.facebook.com/l/bAQDrX4RMAQDhetpWqflxUm8RzGBV95aMyffvVjDKpeVMSg/growingbolder.com/media/entertainment/music/old-dogs-can-rock-715463.html%23content_tabs
Article written by Dianne Thompson TV anchor /Radio producer NY High Heel Hot Flashes http://www.facebook.com/l/qAQAOoBImAQANNu5I73A-Mz1zpzMJ31MBwFvngs5UyKJ22g/www.highheelshotflashes.com/
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