Happy Life, Happy Wife

Divorce is only possible if both party agreed on it.Maybe Tiger Woods got the idea to run around on his wife from one of his exes. It turns out he used to date Leann Rimes, who herself was a well known adulteress. You know, if you aren't prepared to stay faithful to somebody you should not get married, or date at all - period. It isn't as if this really is THAT hard, either. I hope both of them wind up running for payday cash advances if either gets in a divorce. Dante maintained the deepest circle of Hell was reserved for betrayers.

I think yes, that's manipulative and doesn't make a good long-term habit, because it assumes that anything a husband can do might be able to induce happiness in someone else, and you just can't, right?

People decide on happiness or not within themselves. I'd say the only influence you could make is to invite positive people and influences into your life and make yourself happy.

mlc started 2008

I hope He's right...because when you betray your spouse...you betray your children...

And when you betray your children, you betray your own blood. Maybe the root of Love One Another is have a decent regard for yourself--if not your thoughts, then the fact that you are a human being just like everybody else, and the laws and rules do apply to you. Once you appreciate you're one of all, you can remember that your children are your life blood flowing, and to destroy them is deep down, spiritually disconnected from the source of life.

mlc started 2008

I stumbled on this site and won't be visiting again - all I see is lots of people making lots of judgements about a process that breaks the hearts of those involved. NOBODY wants their marriage to end - most of us work like heck to make it work - why do you think we wait 5 - 10 - 15 years before calling it quits? I worked harder than anyone to make it work wtih my husband and I just became tired of being invisible. I understand he's not capable of giving love and kindess that an enduring marriange needs. I'm not looking for a knight in shining armour at my age. The best advice I give my kids is don't get married. Love your mate, build a life with him or her but don't get married. This way when life changes or he or she changes, you can move on civially. Please folks, let's not be so judgemental of those of us struggling to do the right thing and find a little bit of happiness?

I stumbled on this site and won't be visiting again - all I see is lots of people making lots of judgements about a process that breaks the hearts of those involved. NOBODY wants their marriage to end - most of us work like heck to make it work - why do you think we wait 5 - 10 - 15 years before calling it quits? I worked harder than anyone to make it work wtih my husband and I just became tired of being invisible. I understand he's not capable of giving love and kindess that an enduring marriange needs. I'm not looking for a knight in shining armour at my age. The best advice I give my kids is don't get married. Love your mate, build a life with him or her but don't get married. This way when life changes or he or she changes, you can move on civially. Please folks, let's not be so judgemental of those of us struggling to do the right thing and find a little bit of happiness?

Is it a betrayal of your kids to leave their dad, explaining that you wish to move to a different life and making sure all the details are worked out?

Is it a betrayal of your kids to go out on your marriage vows by having sex with someone, partying and not meeting your kids' needs, forgetting your obligations?

Big difference. I think a lot about how dissatisfied I am with my life and how I'd like to move on. I'm kinda with you on that but when I posted about not betraying your kids, I really meant it. I can't leave as long as it would hurt my kids. I have to wait for an optimal time and I have to try to have a heart to heart with my husband first, though he doesn't believe me when I say I need to.

mlc started 2008

"When you betray your spouse, you betray your children." An interesting philosophy.

Define betray.

Perhaps there was something along the way that led her to do that which is being thought of as "betrayal." Something that -you- did. Psychological abuse. Physical abuse. Or maybe just years of neglect by someone who believes that his own happiness is all that matters in a relationship. And now, running out of reasons she should stay, begins to use the kids as a weapon.

Something tells me her attitude toward you is distinctly different than that toward her children. Something tells me she wishes that, for the sake of the children, she -were- happy with you. And that she waited until she couldn't take it anymore.

Maybe she intended to do what Lisa above did, and either feels now is the right time, or simply can't take it anymore.

But one doesn't get to continue an inappropriate or abusive pattern and keep her in your shadow, just because there are children involved. You don't get to hide behind them.

Judging from the "I just want, I just want" rhetoric, you're only concerned about that which -you- want, and that absolutely none of -her- needs ever mattered. And that you're just upset that as it became your way or the highway, she chose the highway.

If you indeed -are- headed for divorce, so be it. But stop hiding behind your kids. You don't get to speak for them. In fact, they just might have their day to speak for themselves.

yeah ..one letter to her beau ,my sbtx said that...me...am looking for a unicorn...we'll see who comes out ahead

Nice...except...I am the one taking care of them...4.5 days a week...from 645am to 9 or 10pm I do it all sunshine,so not only do I know what abandonment is...so do they...and you are right..they will speak for themselves...BTW how dare you...I am the parent ,she's just a clone...sad...but true...every day, I run myself ragged,and every day I am grateful...for them...and what we are trying to hang on to...she wants a NEW LIFE ..then go ! you presume much...

the rules,the laws,the duties and obligations do apply...there is nothing more basic to a human parent than to respond to their children's distress....my sbtx can't...she 's too IN LUV!...sorry,don't get too metaphysical very often...or at least I don't use those terms...but I do know what love ,loyalty and responsibilty are...and I live it...every day...and my kids know it...I may go down ...but this is my fight..and I won't quit...

Good for you 77. Hang in there. Everything will come to a head and then it will be over. I know. I've been there. But, you see I am in here so I am still suffering the ramifications. Is this your first divorce? If it is, just hang tough and you will make it out on the other side and believe it not, you will be a better person for it.

Eric

So is the consensus of the readers here that once you are married, you signed your life over to the other who owns you for life? If I, as a free human being last time I checked, decide that I want "my" life back despite the fact that I have children, I deserve to rot in the darkest part of hell? Please someone explain that to me. Seriously, please explain!

EXCELLENT point!! One would think based on what some say on here, once one gets married, one enters into permanent dictatorship. f*ck love. Or so it seems.

Even more annoying: people who use kids as weapons.

who ever destroys thier famil and children, and thinks only of who they can sleep with next and destroy, and their lustful desiers, should be loocked up in prison, put to work for life for the suport of the victems, with no chance of ever getting out.

I would put my life on it, if this were to become law, all the selfish cowards wohs shelow brain can only reach to thinck of whats in their pants, would beg to stay commited and be faithful to their spouses.

i will pray for you and all those out there that God will help you get rid of your selfish sinful lustful desiers, and put others first.

My name is Jeff Allen I am the comedian who bo came up with the saying back in the early nineties, I trademarked it for no other reason than I thought it was catchy. I own the federal trademark on the saying "Happy wife Happy Life. The reason I never used the word husband is because nothing rhymes with the word husband. Again, I repeat, it was created for a stand up comedy routine and for no other reason than it had a nice ring to it. Sometimes we need to just lighten up a tad.