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Recent Discussions

Happily married 24 years and BAM ~ Male MLC

Gemma's picture

First, let start by saying that I am very thankful that this website is here. I had no clue anything like this existed, the midlife crisis and this website, until I was thrown into this basically overnight!! I have been happily married for 24 1/2 years now, and married my best friend!! We got married when we were 18 and even waited 10 years before we decided to have any children. We did everything together and I was so fortunate to have fell in love and could call that person my best friend!! My girl friend count is even low because everything I did involved my spouse. Our son is 16 years old, and he and his dad were sooooooo close. There again, great relationship!! We live in a small town, and everyone knows us, and the closeness and bond this family has. We were inseperable!! Spouse would always say that he would be lost without me,and that we were his everything!! That is until 10/17/09. That is when I found the text records from our cellular provider. He went to look at a job for our company and was baited there from a past girl friend that he had not seen in almost 20 years. She contacted us thru our company website and lured him there with a drainage problem. The MLC is bad enough, but this chick has serious issues and my spouse is like #15 on the happily married man saga that she stalks and goes after to wreck the family!! The man before my spouse was married 21 years and 3 kids, but she ruined that family too. His MLC signs are the inflated ego, he is THE man, and there is no doubt about it in his world. He has worked all his life to provide a great home and all the perks that go with it, for me and our son, but now it is all about his happiness. He is going to make himself happy this time. He is violent one minute and mellow the next. Loves me, but isn't in love with me anymore. Has become obsessed with money, which he doesn't have. I moved the money and put everything in my name once I realized what I was up against. This chick has total control of him. He has been moved out for almost 2 months now, stayed with a buddy for most of that time, and now has an apartment with the OW. Her husband is a doctor and I am told that she will never leave the money, she simply gets her cookies off stalking happily married men. My spouses buddy and his wife couldn't deal with the OW. They saw right thru her in the first 5 minutes. His male friends have pretty much abandoned him. I think the kicker for me to even question any of this was how he turned on his son. His own flesh and blood. For weeks he would walk right by him and act like our son was not even in the room. Then he threatened him 3 times for asking him to leave me alone. My spouse has become so mean, says mean things, flaunted the relationship with OW in my face. He immediately wanted a divorce, hasn't wanted to think about anything, total wreckless decision making. Did not work for almost 2 months, everything about him and what he used to enjoy doing, he no longer does. I filed for divorce, had to in order to protect the personal and business assets, and our son. Our son wants nothing to do with his dad for what he has put our family through. My spouse couldn't stand coming into an empty house, would always call asking where we were if no one was home. Now he LOVES being alone. Family and friends are still in shock. They say he had it all. Was living the american dream. Great family, wonderful home in the country, successful business. He has walked away from it all, saying he wants a simpler life. Doesn't know how much longer he will have on this earth, but going out happy. Now it's 2 days before Christmas and no husband, no dad!! I feel like I am in a nightmare that I can't get out of. After his buddies basically ripped him a new a$$ about how he was treating our son, he did try to talk to our son, and had the nerve to ask why his son was mad at him???? Cops were here at our home for that one. Spouse did seem upset and was crying. The officer said he could already see a change in the spouse and didn't give the OW thing another 2-3 months. I have restraining orders, exclusive occupancy and custody of our son now. He has not seen or spoke to either one of us for over a month now. I understand that there is no emotional attachment, but he has done a 180 and with no regret, or doesn't seem like there is. I do see him drive by the house a couple of times a week too, but he can't see anything because we live so far back off the road. I pray every night for safety and strength to get through this. It is such a terrible place to be.

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Anonymous's picture

keep the faith....

be kind to yourself, keep praying and know that YOU WILL be a better person for your struggles

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