What’s not to like?

What's not to like? First impressions count! Got an initial in person meeting coming up? Don't miss this week’s blog posts: How not to disappoint.

Whether you’re meeting someone initially in person at a speed dating event or at a business meeting or interview, there is simply nothing that compares with meeting face-to-face. Compared to online or phone meet-ups, an in person meeting has many advantages and dimensions. The most obvious difference is that in person all the senses are engaged. So be sure to use them to your advantage both to make a positive first impression and to take in a broader view of the other party.

While we’re all endowed with multiple senses, each of us has some senses dominate over others. Some people are more visual. Some are very reactive to sound and noise. Some have a strong sense of smell. Others are tactile. But no matter what your own sensory situation, if someone else blatantly ignores the limits of good taste with regard to any sense, it’s hard not to notice and be turned off. That’s why, even though you might be very drawn to someone’s looks, it may be hard to ignore the fact that they surround themselves in a cloud of heavy fragrance.

My advice for an initial meeting is to aim for moderation. Try to avoid extremes. Dress moderately in flattering, well fitting, clean, unwrinkled clothing. Make sure your shoes are suitable to the occasion, clean and in good repair. Groom impeccably. Make sure your hands are clean and in shape to shake hands. (Yes, guys use hand cream too.) Even the most legendary beauties wear make-up and have their hair styled. So learn what’s flattering to you and what you can manage. Just steer clear of anything extreme. Learn what’s makes an office, casual and evening look and choose according to the occasion.

Be aware that many people are fragrance sensitive. But one doesn’t have to be in that category to find heady scents or heavy use of fragrance unpleasant. It always surprises me to learn how many people don’t realize that if you regularly wear a fragrance that your nose actually becomes immune to it. Don’t assume that because you can’t smell your regular fragrance on yourself, that no one else can and that you need to refresh it. When you enter a room, your fragrance shouldn’t enter before you do. If you’re a smoker, don’t delude yourself into thinking that drowning yourself in perfume or after shave can mask that.

Your voice and your speech can tell others a lot about you. Can people understand what you say? How’s your diction? Do you speak with a regional or foreign accent? Do you modulate your voice to an appropriate level? Have people told you that you have a good speaking voice? Does your voice go up several octaves when you become excited or nervous? Do you even know how you sound to others? If not, try recording your voice and playing it back to yourself. Try to be critical about what you hear. If you don’t like what you hear, know that with some effort, time and patience, you can improve your speaking.

My final thought in this area concerns negative sounds. This includes cell phones and noisy jewelry. Before any one-on-one meeting – whether it is business or social, turn off your cell. Anything less is simply rude to the other person. As regards noisy bracelets and the like, avoid wearing them anytime in business and think twice before wearing them at other initial meetings. While many ladies feel that they are a sign of femininity, many find them as distracting. So why take the chance? Save them for a more appropriate occasion.

While we’ve focused on presenting oneself in such a way as to make a favorable first impression, that face-to-face initial meeting is also your opportunity to evaluate the other party. To every sense that I’ve encouraged you to play, you will respond. Meeting in person can instantly tell you things about the other person that all their online photos and emails never can. That’s one reason why speed dating has enjoyed the longevity it has. There is simply no substitute for meeting face-to-face.