Hoping

Hi, everyone new to this Blog thing. I think I posted my story on someone else as a reply so forgive me. Anyway the reason for my post is that I've been married for 15 years and have three children. My wife and I lost our first child after three years of marriage. This started our problems. I went into a state of depression and until recently haven't been able to stay clear, as I call it. Anyway about 6 weeks ago my wife blindsides me with a request for a divorce. I'm stunned and mad at the same time. I try to reason with her and even begged. Then we left it as I would move out. I had second thoughts and told her that I wasn't moving and that I wanted to be with our children. After we talked about what a divorce would mean financially and emotionally she decided it wasn't fair if either of us left and we couldn't really afford two house holds. She had been distant for a few weeks prior and even slept on the couch. I was curious and asked her why. She had been sick and said she slept better on the couch. No problem then I really find out the reason she wants out. The odd thing is we rarely fought. The depression I was in caused me to have a temper and become with drawn. Apparently I let this consume everything and everyone I love. Now that I'm clear I can see the damage I have caused. I have been desperately trying to save our marriage and have made dramatic changes in my life. For me and our children. I just hope it isn't to little to late. When I ask my wife how she is feeling she says that I have no idea of the magnitude of this hurt and that it isn't something that is going to change overnight. She said that seeing my depression affect our children is what caused her to say enough. Since my changes she admits that our children are fine now and I realize this is what I was supposed to be doing all along. I never really and truly meant to hurt anyone especially my wife. I love her and want so bad to reconcile. She has only mentioned the divorce directly to me once and only about be moving out once. We are still living as if nothing is wrong except she isn't sleeping with me nor will she give me any affection. I know I was wrong and have admitted it to her and have told her that I never want to hurt her again. I have repented from my past behavior and I know that God has forgiven me. She says she has too but she hasn't gotten over it. I don't know what else I can do. I send her letters, cards and texts which she doesn't acknowledge. She says she doesn't want anyone to know we are having trouble. I don't know what to do. I love her and my children and want so bad to make a new start with them. One that is much better that before.