- LifeTwo. We're all about midlife.
- Sign up for our newsletter ...
- Listen to a LifeTwo podcast ...
- Learn about midlife crisis ...
- Help someone ...
- ... or visit our homepage for more.
- LifeTwo: the destination for information about midlife.
Search LifeTwo:
Get Our Newsletter!
Stay up to date on midlife issues -- subscribe to our monthly email newsletter (you can easily unsubscribe later)!
Visit Our Store!
Visit our store at Amazon to see books and other products we recommend -- like this:
Your LifeTwo
In this area, registered users see recommendations, set bookmarks, and track what their buddies are up to. For more on the benefits of registering, go here.
User login
Things You Can Do On LifeTwo
- Add a comment to an article
- Find things ... or browse
- Join a discussion
- Keep up to date using RSS
- Links and 'Blogroll'
- Register to get even more great features
Follow us on Twitter and get tweets when new posts go up! Click on the Twitter logo to go to our page at Twitter, and then click the "follow" button.
Subscribe in a Reader:
Use the icon above to subscribe to LifeTwo's Home Page in a reader like My Yahoo or Google Reader (see this page to learn more about RSS and for information on our other feeds). Or if you use one of the following services, just click on its icon:
Advertising Supplied By:
New On LifeTwo's Homepage
Recent Discussions
Recent Comments
Reflections From A Rollercoaster
Three days only into this nutty experience, and the world for me has become a surreal and disorienting environment. For my part, I am able to eat some now, and sleeping pills have made it possible to sleep.
What's amazing to me is that my wife is so blithe about the entire situation. Within 24 hours of telling me that we may split mid-year, she asked me if I wanted to go to an acquaintance' birthday party at a sushi restaurant. Both Friday and Saturday evenings she went out carousing with friends. What this tells me is that either she really doesn't care, or that she is in denial as to the magnitude of what she has done. I've tried to figure out what part of the famous "grief cycle" I am in - I don't feel "angry", yet, I am not in "denial" either - but I wonder if she is even experiencing grief. I hope for her sake she knows what she's doing, because if she has thrown our lives into crisis like this without really thinking things through, and with a high degree of seriousness, then she is going to be in for an unpleasant emotional experience herself when reality sets in.
Whatever the case, "blithe about it" is a clear warning sign of ... something ... to be paid attention to.
There is an odd numbness that sets in with emotional exhaustion, and it brings with it an equally odd clarity. You sit strapped into a rollercoaster, being flung around by forces outside your control, but you can at least watch the ride with a calm detachment. What I can be certain of is that I need to try to get control of my place on the rollercoaster, to try to see where it is going, what my options and opportunities are, what my feelings are in this new world I've been flung into in 2009.
Read Similar LifeTwo Stories:
- Is a Mid Life Crisis an illness?
- I Can't Get No . . . Satisfaction
- Anger - the Hidden 'Gotcha' of Midlife
- This is freakin' scary! I have questions and need help.
- Do I Dare Poke the Bear?
- I think my wife is having a mid-life crisis
- The Possible End of a First Marriage, and I Don't Believe in Second Marriages
- Repent! The End Is Near!
re: reflections from a rollercoaster
Why are you choosing to remain on the roller coaster at all? You make it sound like you are strapped in for the ride and you can't get off...this is her roller coaster ride...if you give her the controls...she will be in control...Right?! Take back the control...get the heck off the ride...or at least put yourself in the position that you are only watching her.
"Blithe about it" is being blithe about it because she knows she can get away with it...it's time simply.human to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get back in to the game or you will be riding this roller coaster for a very long time.
Go check out Women in MLC: www.womeninmlc.lefora.com. You will guidance, encouragement and the knowledge you need to get off the ride and get on the road to either saving your marriage or learning how live without someone who is "blithe about it".
Thanks for the feedback
I appreciate your candid comments. I am of course trying to be as sensitive and balanced about the situation as I possibly can, and to not come to hasty conclusions. I'll check out Women in MLC - and thanks again for reading.
A year later..
Hi Simply.Human
What happened and how did your 2009 work out? In July 2009 I suffered through a similar traumatic experience with my husband. We are still leaving together but the messages are truly mixed on his part. I have been consistent with my message, which is that of unconditional love. I have told him I want to make our marriage work and that I am unwilling to give up on the 10 years we've spent together so far. I have changed my attitude and my behaviour.. He is definately suffering from some sort of mid-life evaluation right now. I even fear he is cheating on me, but he says he is not, so I have to trust his word. At times, I live in agony. At other times, I feel there is something between us that holds us together that nothing can break.
I read your post with interest, because I went through some of the same emotional trauma that you suffered last year. Actually, some days it feels like I am still there. And meanwhile, it seems he is completely unaware of the pain he is inflicting on me.
What happened? Like you, I did not believe in second marriages. But I have started to get used to the idea. I have a lot of hope in my heart. I hope my husband will realize what he is doing and have a change of heart. I hope he can be completely honest with me one day. But if that honesty means he no longer wants to be marry to me, than I hope I can find another life partner. I am a very loving, caring person and I believe I deserve a second chance if my current husband chooses to walk out.
Post new comment