Do I Dare Poke the Bear?

My wife's midlife crisis appears to be in check, ever since the marriage counselor we were seeing basically laughed at her "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line. The counselor simply said that if you love someone after 21 years, you ought to be glad for that and this "in love" distinction was just a sign that we weren't kids head over heels anymore, but a mature couple. My wife readily accepted this as if she was just waiting to hear someone other than me tell her that you can't expect the giddyness of first love to last a lifetime - that's for the fairy tales. Marriage is work and those who don't understand that are in for a lot of disappointment as they move on from relationship to relationship. The counselor also thought my wife was going through depression, a lot of it having to do with her fear of aging and uneasiness with her "broken" parts due to her various female problems (she's finally scheduled to get a hysterectomy). Now mind you we don't have children and she never wanted any, so I wouldn't think that factors quite as much in her depression as you might otherwise believe. Since that went down a couple months ago we haven't talked about it at all, mostly out of my fear of setting something off. I've also been so terrified of losing my job that it's taken over on my radar. She's never liked where I work and pushed for me to get another job, but there's really little work in my field in this town and the right career move would be to go elsewhere, something she refuses to do. So as my company continues to downsize and the threat of shutdown lingers, she's actually been more supportive, although fearful of what might happen. Meanwhile, work is piling on and on with a new company president who has no idea about our jobs and doesn't care that we don't have nearly the resources to do what he'd like. The attitude is just get it done. So with all of this I haven't felt the energy to revisit the MLC and worry that letting it go might just undo the communication we started to build again. But I don't think either one of us is in the mode where we can deal with too much emotional pressure right now. I wonder is it risky to go back to not really talking about feelings? That's some of what got us to the MLC in the first place. By the way, she hates discussing feelings and even more dislikes the notion of a MLC, which she equates with bad jokes and bald men buying Corvettes. I don't think she believes they actually exist, but I think anyone checking out this site knows otherwise. While thrown for a loop by her feelings of uncertainty and restlessness, I also admire her for being able to keep herself somewhat in check and not act out to the degree I see with so many stories here. In my perfect world, I'd like to go over all of this and give her context for what she's gone through and might still be feeling at times. I just don't know what that would do and am not sure it's a good idea. My gut feeling is that she would say I must want drama and feelings and can't be satisfied with leaving things alone. So I guess that's what I'll do. I just hope her MLC doesn't come roaring back.