You Learn a Lot About a Man by How He Breaks Up

A man discloses volumes during a dating relationship, but most revealing is how he breaks up. It’s almost a shame that there isn’t a break up early on as you’d see how he treats you.

If a man breaks up via text, IM, or email, I know he’s a coward, afraid to have a mature discussion about his feelings and the relationship. Most of the men who’ve broken up with me have done it this way or by just going poof, not contacting me again, nor returning my attempts to find out what’s going on.

In a recent text breakup message, my now ex-beau refused to elaborate or explain what was going on with him. Previously when he’d expressed some unfulfilled — and heretofore unexpressed — needs, by talking it out we came up with a mutually satisfactory solution. But this time he treated me like one of his children: his decision was final and he wasn’t discussing it, even to help me understand, not dissuade him. How respected I felt — not!

Rarely has a man sat me down and discussed his feelings and desire to discontinue our romantic relationship. I’ve actually grown more fond of the few men who’ve done this and respected their willingness to initiate tough conversations. Typically we’ve remained friends afterward.

If a relationship is difficult, volatile, turbulent or one of the parties is cantankerous or abusive, best to break up virtually. But only one of mine has been that way. In fact, some breakups have come on the heels of his telling me how much he cared about me, adored me, and/or thought we were a perfect match. So then to have a man breakup without further explanation leaves me with a lot of head scratching.

It is best to remind yourself that a man who breaks up this way shows his disrespect for you and his incapacity to maturely discuss difficult topics, so no matter how much you cared for him, best to let him drift back into the dating pool. He obviously hasn’t learned how to swim in your waters, so let him go back to the turbulent whirlpool he’s doomed to spin in until — and if — he learns how to behave maturely and respectfully. ________________

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