Talking It Out Isn't Necessarily The Best Thing

Instead of "talking it out" how about "thinking it through?" This country needs more stoicism and less Dr. Phil.

And this blog needs a Digg button.

I think it's probably right, what the article is saying. If I have a problem, I've been known to think about it a lot, get bogged down in it and bore my husband with it. Well, I stopped talking to him about things.

The upside of thinking about things, such as regrets, failures, bad feelings about some issue or other, is that in the end I have learned something and it can't bother me anymore. I think of it as working through my dharma or something like that. I no longer get jealous if my husband is around women. I have forgiven and forgotten several regretful incidents in my youth. I understand when others are having problems because I've been there and now I have empathy. I realize that people don't always know what they're doing and they make mistakes.

I feel embarrassed when I am busy thinking and talking about something and then someone says, "Get over it." It's uncaring and shallow and judgmental. But that doesn't mean their way of coping isn't right. People who take their frustrations out at the gym are in shape as well as not dwelling on things.

I've come out of my thinking periods with new ideas for what's possible. I think if I don't carefully look at what I really want, I'll just take some advice I read on the internet and find myself back on square one.

But...when I hear someone else ruminating about a problem, I too don't want to hear it.

Lisa

Very thought provoking. Pondering in silence may be much more healing....Nancy Mehegan