We're all creatures of new habits

You know the expression ‘we’re creatures of habit’? It’s believed that change is difficult, perhaps even impossible, as we keep on with our old ways of operating in the world. But it’s important for many good reasons (such as changing what makes us miserable and staying young) to do new things.

When we create new habits, our old ones don’t suddenly depart from us unfortunately! But the good news is that parallel synaptic paths are created when we do new things and that means our thoughts can jump onto the new tracks.

To make big change we need to be full of wonder…to believe that anything’s possible. Unfortunately when we’re kids we’re often discouraged in our dreams by adults who became discouraged from their dreams somewhere along the line.

Our society leans heavily towards analytical thinking and following procedures, to the detriment of innovative thinking (i.e. creativity) and collaborative thinking (i.e. working together). Things are beginning to change in the world now, fortunately, but there’s still a huge emphasis on decision making rather than curious inquiry or ‘conversations’ as they call them in Narrative Therapy.

Dawna Markova, author of The Open Mind, says that to decide is to kill off all possibilities but one, whereas when one thinks innovatively they explore many possibilities. Mona and Giovanni, of Question the Mind, taught me that when our thoughts are confused we feel stressed and our resulting actions and therefore the results of them are limited to 0 to 2. Confused actions fall into no possibilities or stuckness, 1 possibility or black and white thinking, or 2 possibilities or a dilemma. Whereas thoughts of clarity lead to peaceful feelings and limitless actions! The result is things feel right and we have no regrets.

Change, even positive change, usually comes with fear, originating in our emotional brain or old brain. Then if we’re scared enough our fight or flight response activates and we want to run from whatever we’ve initiated. Martha Beck calls it our lizard.

However when we take tiny little steps, called turtle steps by Martha Beck and referred to as kaizen (a Japanese technique) by M.J. Ryan, we don’t go to the old brain’s fight or flight response, but are able to stay in the creativity and playfulness of our thinking brain.

So as many of us baby boomers grow older, let’s step outside of our comfort zone on a regular basis. It really does get easier and easier. And our creativity grows in leaps and bounds.

Ellen Besso, Life Coach & Group Facilitator www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze

Ellen Besso inspires and guides MidLife Women as they navigate the maze of midlife to find joy & fullness in their lives.