I need help

I often thing that if I found love I would do better but as soon as someone comes along I run like the wind!

This is not the answer. It is not fair to put the burden of your happiness on someone else. We are all responsible for ourselves.

You said you have been abused in the past. This has an incredible impact on your psyche. It is very important that you find a counselor to talk to. If not a private one, check with your church or there are many support groups around.

If you didn't have that in the past, my suggestion would be to first look at the things that you directly control:

• Are you getting enough sleep?
• Are you eating right?
• Are you exercising?
• Are you making sure that the information you are consuming is productive, beneficial, and inspiring

From there, you have to look at the environment you are moving in. Are negative or aggressive people trampling your boundaries? Do you hang out with critical and depressing friends?

There are a lot of steps you can take to help turn around depression, but first you should see a counselor. Sometimes if we are too far in the dumps, an antidepressant will give the boost needed to get our life back on an even keel.

This is the first time I've admitted this so it's a big deal to me. Please help! I have all the symptoms of a midlife crisis.

It certainly sounds like a crisis.

Admitting that you're in a crisis is a good first step. The next step is to stop isolating yourself, it will only make the depression worse. Next, reach out and find a professional to help, be it a therapist, psychologist, spiritual, medical, or whatever works for you. There are so many resources.

I've suffered from depression, and I found a way out. Many others have as well. You are not alone. It may feel like it's dark, but there is light, and you will find it if you take action.

I came out of the womb depressed.  My role in the family was the little-loser-know-nothing.  I am now 51 and only realized a few years ago I need to keep a distance between me and my family.  I do not reach out to them for anything.  Also, I take Lexapro 20 mg daily ritually.  Some of us are born with the chemical propensity for depression.  Thats just who we are.  Maybe you should try a psychiatrist who can prescribe some antidepressant.  My experience has been if I try to get out there and interact with other people, I just end up hating them and then hating me.  Try the meds first.