It's official: You can blame your mother

Our mother's style of parenting affects our lives in ways that in the opinion of this expert should not be ignored. Family psychologist Dr. Stephan Poulter, author of "The Mother Factor", notes the complex legacy imparted by our mothers and the resulting far-reaching impact this has on our lives. These mother-child relationships leave an indelible impression on the persons we become including our ability to function emotionally in relationships--both personal and professional.

Dr. Poulter defines the five major styles of mothering as:

·The Perfectionist Mother--whose family must look perfect in every way
·The Unpredictable Mother--whose ups and downs can create lifelong anxiety and depression in her son or daughter
·The "Me First" Mother--whose children come second or last
·The "Best Friend" Mother--who's now in vogue but can wreak havoc
·The Complete Mother--who provides guidance and shows compassion to her child

Although most mothers are a combination of the above, many fit more into one category than others and this affects how we ourselves enter into relationships as adults.

Dr. Poulter believes the internalized "rulebook" we inherit from our mothers is a very powerful force. These unspoken rules govern work, relationships, emotions, separation, and independence. Unless we become aware of the rules that guide our behavior, thoughts, and beliefs, we won't have the ability to make our own choices.

While we are on the subject of mothers, let's give some credit to an area they are often ignored, namely the positive economic impact generated by stay-at-home moms. In an update of its annual survey, the website salary.com calculated that the market value of all of that work that mothers do equates to $116,805 per year. "If a stay-at-home mom could be compensated in dollars rather than personal satisfaction and unconditional love, she'd rake in a nifty sum of nearly US$117,000 a year." (Note a big driver of this amount is the overtime that they would garner by working an estimated 94.4 hours/week.) Regardless of the methodology or even relevancy of the data, the fact is that most stay-at-home mothers work very hard and very long hours and it's nice to see someone attempt to put that into terms we can all understand--especially if we are going to blame them for whatever relationship issues we have as adults.

Amazon Link: The Mother Factor: How Your Mother's Emotional Legacy Impacts Your Life

Source: release