Pick Up In Aisle 5

A funny thing happened to me on my way to buy chicken.

As I cut through the mall en route to the grocery store, a zillion things raced through my mind. When could I get the dog to the vet? What should I make for dinner? Who would be the next person kicked off of American Idol? You know, the usual stuff.

Suddenly a handsome middle-aged man stopped me.

"It's a beautiful day, you should be smiling," he said.

My first thought was that I was being robbed. I clutched my purse tightly.

"A beautiful woman like you should be smiling, " he persisted.

Beautiful? Oooh, I like the sound of that. I don't care if he is a thief - he thinks I'm beautiful. I smiled.

"There you see. That's much better." And he continued to chat on about the weather and smiling and where he was off to in the mall.

It was around this point that I really started getting confused. Why was this man talking to me? By now I'd decided that this well-dressed stranger probably wasn't interested in grabbing my purse in broad-daylight in a crowded mall. My mind began searching for other possibilities.

A sales promotion perhaps? He keeps mentioning my smile - maybe he wants me to participate in one of those mall research studies. I bet it's about toothpaste brands. But isn't it usually women in white lab coats holding clipboard who try to draw you in - not good looking guys in polo shirts holding expensive sunglasses.

His next sentence snapped me out of my reverie. "So if I wanted to see you and your smile again, how would I do that?"

What?! Is he asking me to go out with him?

I struggled to digest this. I've been married for 20 years. The closest I've come to flirting with another man was when I showed a little leg to the plumber in hopes of getting a discount on the showerhead. Finally, I spoke.

"What?"

I noticed a look flicker across my suitor's face that seemed to say, "She may look okay but she's obviously daft. Maybe I should drop this." He tried again, speaking more slowly this time.

"So if I wanted to see you and your smile again, how would I do that?"

It's true - this guy really is trying to pick me up. Hoping to come across as chic and sophisticated, I replied. "I'm married. I have two kids. No!"

My wooer shrugged, wished me a good day and was off.

As the shock began to subside, a new emotion emerged. Glee. I'll be honest. Getting noticed like that was a real boost to the ego. I carried on to get groceries with a definite spring in my step.

I had to tell someone. I phoned my hot, single friend H. Surely this must happen to her all the time. She'd have some insight.

"A really good looking guy just tried to pick me up at the mall," I blurted into the phone.

"What did you do?" she wanted to know.

"I told him no thanks. That I was married."

"Why didn't you get his number for me?" she demanded.

"Do you think it's because I've been cutting back on carbs this week?" I speculated.

"Maybe," she mused. "Or maybe he was trying to get you to go to an Amway meeting. It could have been that."

I considered the possibility. Was I simply a mark in a pyramid sales scheme? No, I wouldn't believe it. I was staying with the theory that sister was lookin' good.

I was, in fact, so up on myself that I wasn't surprised when I noticed another man seeming to smile at me as I went through the checkout.

Yes, yes, I thought. I am hot today.

But when I smiled back, he didn't seem to notice. In fact, on closer inspection, he wasn't even looking at me. He was smiling at the customer in line behind me. His wife. He was waiting to help carry her grocery bags.

No matter. I had my little moment in the sun. And buying chicken will never be just buying chicken again.

— Karen Hamilton lives in Toronto, Canada, where she publishes The Best Kept Secret, an e-newsletter and Web site for women over 40. Like the proverbial Seinfeld of the perimenopause set, Karen is fascinated with “the little things” of midlife. You can reach Karen via e-mail at karen@thebestkeptsecret.ca or visit her Web site at www.thebestkeptsecret.ca.