Why friends matter

It's no surprise that when things go wrong having friends can help the recovery process. A new study published in the February issue of the Journal of the American College of Surgeons shows that their is a strong positive relationship between patients' social networks and their recovery rates after major operations. Those patients with large support networks even report experiencing less post operative pain.

While this study tested recovery from medical procedures, it is not a stretch to expect that the same phenomenon applies other types of recovery. For example dealing with a sudden loss of a spouse, marital infidelity, and so forth. This is why one of the first things recommended to spouses having to deal with difficult issues is that they turn to their social networks for support. It is also shows why it is important to put the effort into maintaining relationships. Don't let months turn into years without communicating to your friends. Friendships can take effort and it takes someone to pick up the phone and schedule a lunch or perhaps just have a long phone call.

One thing we read here is how some spouses (particularly stay-at-home mothers) let their social networks dwindle as they focus on child rearing activities. Not only is this not particularly healthy it leaves them vulnerable if something happens and they don't have a strong social network to fall back upon.

Here is a tip. Go through your rolodex, Christmas card list, phone book or wherever else acting as a database for your contacts and make a list of the people that you would like to be closer to. Then pick up the phone and start scheduling calls, coffees, or whatever. It's fun, it's healthy, and it's an investment in your future.