How Long Does A Midlife Crisis Last?

The answer to this question is, unfortunately, "it depends." And it depends on what type of midlife crisis the person is experiencing -- or if it's even a midlife crisis at all.

Here at LifeTwo we advocate thinking about midlife crisis as five different issues:

• 1: the real deal -- a severe crisis brought about by concern over one's mortality. The best available data shows this affects only 8% of middle aged people.




• 2: midlife assessment -- a milder form of #1, where counting the years you have left provides the impetus to make major changes in your life (or at least think about them!).




• 3: a significant setback triggers a severe psychological reaction, such as major depression. While stressful life events such as the death of loved ones, a significant career setback, or divorce seem more likely in the middle years, they can happen at any age. In some people these events will cause the onset of depression or related illnesses.




• 4: the same type of major life event causes strong, but not debilitating, emotions such as grief. In the short term, this can look like depression.




• 5: the "don't blame me, my midlife crisis made me do it" excuse -- sometimes "midlife crisis" is nothing more than a cover for bad behavior.

So once you've identified what type of midlife-ish crisis you're dealing with, you can better answer the "how long" question:

• Someone who's thrown into a tailspin by the realization that the clock is ticking down is often a person who's had emotional crises at other key points in their life. In a seminal 1993 article in "The Atlantic," writer Winifred Gallagher noted that:
  
  

  ... most of those who have a true psychological crisis in middle age - according to MIDMAC, about five percent of the population - have in fact experienced internal upheavals throughout their lives. "They see the world in those terms," says David Featherman, a MIDMAC fellow and the president of the Social Science Research Council, in New York City. "They aren't particularly good at absorbing or rebounding from life's shocks."

  So the answer to "how long will it last" is "how long did those earlier periods of emotional turmoil last?" The midlife crisis should last about as long.

• Someone who is questioning their past choices and assessing where it is leading them may be in for a long process. There is little data about this -- in 2001, an article in "The Handbook of Midlife Development" noted that " there remains substantial disagreement whether reappraisals occur on a predictable timetable for all adults ... or occur only at times when individual circumstances prompt such reassessment. (1)" One researcher found that most people had no crisis or reappraisal between ages 40 to 50; those who were going through such a period at age 40 had "very positive" mental health at age 50. Unfortunately, we don't know what happened in between.
  
  

  The self-assessment process can be helped by pulling it out of the background and confronting it directly. Rather than sporadic thoughts in the shower about making major life changes, block out time to think about it, and develop a plan to answer the question.

• If the "midlife crisis" is really depression, the news is generally good. Instances of major depression usually run three to nine months, with 85% of patients back to normal in a year. Even better: the course of depression can be sped up with proper care, and it generally becomes less of a problem with age.
  
  

  However, correct diagnosis is important: Dysthymia isn't as intense as major depression but lasts longer. The gloomy or sad moods associated with it can last for as long as two years.
  
  

  To learn more, visit our depression information roundup, which has links to useful sites such as the National Institute of Mental Health.

• Grief and similar strong emotions can also be tagged with the "midlife crisis" label. Whatever one's age, the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, or even a child leaving home can trigger these feelings. How long the feelings last depends on the extent of the loss -- one 2006 study noted that grief after the death of a spouse lasts many years. Those researchers also found that the feelings don't suddenly become manageable after a magical number of months or years, but fade away gradually.
  
  

  Other psychological issues such as self-doubt or loss of direction can happen at any time during life. We can't find information on the duration, but since it's conceptually similar to the midlife self-assessment process, it could take several years to resolve itself. And like self-assessment, these feelings are best confronted directly, with introspection, the help of a spouse or close friend, and / or advice from clergy or a counselor.

• And what of the midlife crisis that is only an excuse? The person using it is probably going to keep it up until it doesn't work any more, or until there's no more need for it. The best approach is to ask what's really behind the bad behavior if you had to rule out "midlife crisis," and then to think about whether and how to attack those root problems.

In general, the sharper the "crisis," the sooner it will be over. Persistent, low-level questioning about "is this what I want to do with my life" or similar dissatisfaction can last for years.

But in all cases, you can shorten the duration. Figure out what kind of midlife crisis is at hand, and then grapple with the specific causes so you can decide on specific actions to take. Learn more and talk to others -- here at LifeTwo, or in the real world. The feeling of being in control again can itself help you get through this period!

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(1) "The Role of Work in Midlife," by Harvey L. Sterns and Margaret Hellie Huyck, in "The Handbook of Midlife Development," Margie Lachman, ed.

For more on the relatively small number of people who have a midlife crisis, see our article here. About 8% of middle aged people go through emotional turbulence due to their age; another 15% go through a crisis in midlife, but those were caused by key life transitions (such as divorce) and not their age.

For research on how Americans perceive midlife crisis, see Dr. Elaine Wethington's "Expecting Stress: Americans and the 'Midlife Crisis'" here.