another tale

My wife told me she was "done" in Aug. and I complied by moving out. I respected her wishes and continued all my responsibilities as a father throughout. On Dec 31 I found out about her affair since July, and realized all the lies I had endured, including letters of remorse in early Dec.. I have seen a lawyer and now know the payments I have made to her since our separation have been incorrect. Now that she knows of my knowledge, no talk of payment has occurred. I know my legal rights, but do not want to stop support of my children while I am in transition. I will not allow her to control the little time I have with my kids by putting me in a financial stranglehold. She has no understanding of her legal disadvantage. I still love my wife and do not want to punish her. How do I cope with her betrayal and my need to divorce? kevin