The "How" of Happiness

The topic "Happiness" is of critical importance for people in middle age and thus a focus of LifeTwo. If you are not proactive about being happy then you run the risk of one day hitting a wall and being angry at everyone and everything in the world that you deem is blocking your joy. Some people call this a "midlife crisis" and this type can be avoided. But, for reasons we all know only too well, knowing what makes us truly happy can be tough and things that we think make us happy might not in the long run.

The importance of happiness has lead to a burgeoning market for self-help books all promising to make you happy. As Harvard University Professor Daniel Gilbert says, "Everyone has an opinion about happiness, and unfortunately, many of them write books." Every once in awhile, however, a book comes out that stands out in its clarity and value to the reader. The "How of Happiness" is one such book. It is written by Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.

Lyubomirsky based her book on the research she has done on what makes people happy, and the book's subtitle emphasizes this aspect, "A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want." It is endorsed by Martin Seligman, who is considered the father of positive psychology. This is how one reviewer on Amazon described the book:

Lyubomirsky has created a work which will be interesting, challenging, and useful to researchers, practitioners, and the general reader as well. Her book answers the questions about happiness by backing up her assertions with a fine review of the empirical literature. "Harumph", no more touchy-feely stuff for the "soft science of psychology"...Lyubomirsky has created a book that will appeal to both my neighbors as well as my colleagues. This book would be appropriate in a psychology graduate course or a local reading group....

The book contains a brief diagnostic quiz to help determine your happiness "set point." This is the aspect of one's happiness that is fixed by genetic factors. Positive psychologists such as Lyubomirsky believe that genetic factors account for approximately 50% of one's happiness level and life circumstances & events account for another 10%. This leaves a balance of 40% that is within the power of the individual and it is this area for which Lyubomirsky's book is focused.

The bulk of the book addresses Lyubomirsky's twelve happiness boosting activities. This is the 'how to' aspect of the book. The first activity she discusses is expressing gratitude (the importance of which we have written about before). As she does with each activity, she introduces the topic, explains why it is important and then gives specific tips for how to get the most out of that activity. For gratitude she notes that "Expressing gratitude is a lot more than saying thank you. Emerging research has recently started to draw attention to its multiple benefits. People who are consistently grateful have been found to be relatively happier, more energetic, and more hopeful and to report experiencing more frequent positive emotions." She then addresses several strategies for expressing gratitude from keeping a gratitude journal to having a set time each day during which you contemplate your blessings.

Other activities covered include:

Cultivating optimism Avoiding overthinking Practicing acts of kindness Nurturing social relationships Developing strategies for coping Learning to forgive Increasing flow experiences Savoring life's joys Committing to goals Practicing religion and spirituality Taking care of your body by mediating, being physically active and acting happy

It is important to note that Lyubomirsky's final chapter is on depression noting that clinical depression is an illness that requires treatment far more extensive than what can be found in any book--including this one. The chapter describes the disease and notes that the typical depressed person does not seek treatment for nine years until after experiencing first symptoms. The aim of the chapter is to educate those with depression or who perhaps know someone who is depressed and then to encourage immediate treatment.

"The How of Happiness" is a wonderful read that provides both detailed information on the topic of happiness along with suggestions for specific happiness boosting activities. Lyubomirsky's work is at the forefront of positive psychology and it is terrific that she was able to encapsulate so much of that field into such an easy-to-understand book.

Amazon link: The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want