Giving Back? Maybe I Should Give Up.

"Can you come for drinks next Friday night?" I asked my good friend C. last week. With the holiday season upon us, I was trying to arrange a little festive get together.

"Well," she hesitated, "I'm supposed to feed the homeless.... But they can wait until January. Yes, we'd love to come!"

Now before you begin worrying how the poor homeless will keep from starving between now and January, you should know that C. volunteers in the Out of the Cold program at our local church. She is one of a team of volunteers and surely one of the others will step up and hand out an extra pie or two to make up for C.'s absence.

It's not uncommon for people to remember the less fortunate this time of year but when I think about it, finding meaning in giving to others is not a seasonal thing for midlife women. For a good many of us, this stage is about giving back and making an impact in the world, however big or small.

I must say that since turning 40, I've definitely cranked things up a notch or two when it comes to charitable endeavours. . .

November 2001

Buoyed by memories of working as teenage candy striper, contact three local hospitals and announce am ready to help out. Given current age and experience, prepare to pick and choose amongst managerial style volunteer positions that will surely be offered.

Am informed about five year waiting list to be considered for a volunteer position cleaning garbage cans.

January 2002 - May 2003

Sweet talk way into position at local hospital visiting residents in the Veterans wing. Enjoy many an evening playing bingo and singing "Roll Out The Barrel". Decide to leave after having derriere "accidentally" patted one time too many.

November 2004

Volunteer at daughter's Guides Christmas Craft Extravaganza. Mistakenly believe am in for old-fashioned mother daughter fun. Quickly find self dressed like a reindeer with sizable sales quota that would intimidate most professional marketers.

Catch brief glimpse of another mother from the school who tearfully pleads with me to get her out of "the hell hole they call the pizza serving kitchen". Torn between closing sale of popsicle stick picture frame or helping a comrade, I hesitate too long and last see her blowing nose on oven mitt as scary guide leader pulls her back into kitchen.

January 2005

Attend "Chili Tsunami Dinner" hosted by dear friend who really does understand true spirit of giving. Donations are graciously accepted for survivors of December 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami during an evening of chili, wine and good conversation.

December 2007

Contemplate youngest daughter's upcoming birthday party. Decide that this year's gift giving will be meaningful - unlike last year's debauchery that saw 15 craft kits opened, used and dumped in course of one afternoon.

Am pleasantly surprised to discover ECHOage, online service that turns your child's birthday party into an environmentally respectful and socially mindful celebration. Gift money is pooled with half going to birthday girl or boy and half going to charitable cause.

Suggest ECHOage extends their offerings to birthday parties for midlife women but have second thoughts when I realize some would consider us both the birthday girl and the charitable cause.

For more about the minutia of midlife- www.thebestkeptsecret.ca