What is mid life crises? Please Help

Hello,

First, if you haven't already I would suggest you listen to the podcast for women and MLC here on "Lifetwo". Here is the link for it: http://lifetwo.com/production/node/20070327-lifetwos-basics-podcast-epis...

For now, it sounds from what you have shared more of a difference in ages btwn. you and your husband. Everyone goes through changes in a marriage regardless of their ages, but with such a large gap in ages and a young start on a family you didn't really get to even experience the "normal" things that a young lady would get to do. Your husband seems to be more settled at 40 while you are just ready to (or maybe you have been for awhile, but just now are expressing it)broaden your horizons.

Well, listen to the podcasts and take inventory for yourself to answer some of your own questions. Talk to your husband about how you are feeling and if need be get counseling.

One of the many arguments against marrying early is that from young adulthood (or in your case being a teenager) to later years (say 30) you are almost certainly going to go through huge changes. This is healthy and is simply a part of growing up as an individual. The problems come when you are already set with a person, who is likely going through changes themselves. The result is that you might wake up one day and realize you have very little in common with the person sitting across from you. Some relationships can weather this, many cannot.

I'm not so certain that what you are going through has anything to do with a midlife crisis though as noted above you would do well to listen to the podcasts and read the articles our midlife crisis section. I also agree with the commenter above that marriage counseling is highly recommended. Perhaps in that type of structured environment something can be worked out that enables you to more of the things you desire without having to leave a marriage that has two children.

Wesley Hein
Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com
Sign up for the LifeTwo Newsletter!