Happiness Week Day 5: Just Do It!

Welcome to our fifth of seven days of Happiness Week -- LifeTwo's series of articles and quick exercises to help you improve your level of happiness. If you are just joining us, please read this post first. It contains links to all of our happiness posts and puts these articles in context.

Putting Your Happiness Plan Together

Over the past four days you have probably learned more about happiness than you thought possible. If you have also been doing the exercises (or did them in conjunction with reading Dr. Ben-Shahar's "Happier") then you've learned a great deal about yourself and what brings you real happiness.

Here is a quick recap:

Day 1: We defined happiness as "a state of generally positive emotions but with an underlying sense of purpose and meaning." We learned that it was a continuum and not an on/off state. Most importantly, we learned that the question to ask ourselves is not whether "we are happy" but instead "how do I make myself happy both now and in the future."

Day 2: We explored the four archetypes of happiness from "Happier" and how the "Happiness Archetype" is focused on doing activities that provide both present and future benefit -- so we desire the destination but also enjoy the journey.

Day 3: We tackled pleasure and meaning. An indispensable component of happiness is having a self-generated purpose that possesses personal significance. Without meaning we have only pleasure. While this may not sound bad, it is impossible to build long-term happiness and satisfaction based purely on meaningless pleasures -- no matter how plentiful.

Day 4: We identified the role of goals in improving happiness, the different types of happiness goals, and the importance of self-determination in being happy.

Each day we did two exercises, one to enlighten and one to implement in some fashion what we just learned. The result was a set of one or more "self-concordant" goals -- long-term objectives that we want to pursue because we find them both meaningful and enjoyable.

Today we have only one exercise, but it's not easy: come up with a plan to implement your goals. This is not like the other exercises because you can't just do it once. Your plan is not set in stone, but is a never-ending process of methodically pursuing your goals. It will change as you develop new goals or as your priorities shift.

The first step to developing you plan is to revisit your list and decide if you really want to accomplish all of the goals that you listed on Day 4. If not, then line out the ones that you want to ignore or take a step back to one of the earlier exercises and rework them.

Depending on how much you stretched yourself in setting your self-concordant goals, the next step could change your life. That's because it could involve a career change, a move, new friends, new hobbies, and any number of other life-altering pursuits. Try to avoid the theoretical "I wish I could..." and use "I am working toward..." or -- better yet -- "I will be ...". Not every goal can or should be as dramatic as a career change, but all should be intrinsically important to you. If they satisfy that criterion, then they warrant making it on the list.

The next step is the most important in accomplishing them: committing yourself to doing each one. You have already decided that they are worthwhile; now you need to believe that they are doable. In yesterday's exercise we saw how Gretchen, then a clerk for a Supreme Court Justice, decided she wanted to be a writer. Gretchen didn't necessarily know how she was going to pull it off, but she needed to know that if she put her heart into it she could do it.

Part of the value of goals is that they can become self-fulfilling -- just having the goal makes it more likely you'll reach it. But while you want your goals to be aspirational, they should also be achievable. If you have a goal to go to the moon and have no basis for thinking you can get there, it is a meaningless goal. But if you can visualize yourself accomplishing the goal then it's probably doable.

Once you've committed yourself to your worthwhile goals, your next step is to create an action plan for each one.

Action Plans for Self-Concordant Goals

Writing an "action plan" sounds far more intimidating than it actually is. It's doubtful that the road to happiness was paved with Microsoft Project, so don't get hung up with the tools unless that somehow brings you joy. The point is to look for key decisions or milestones that have to achieve in order to accomplish your goals.

If earning an MBA is on your list, then you'd have to take the GMAT and get a specific score first. You also might feel that before going back to school you need to take a refresher class, and also save some amount of money as a buffer. As you flesh out your plan you'll pick out the things that require your immediate attention.

Don't lose sight of why you're doing this. As we noted on our Day 4 post:

The role of these goals isn't so much what happens as you attain them as the happiness you achieve pursuing them. It's the journey more than destination, the means and not the end.

A lawyer who wants to write a book and first takes writing classes is likely to enjoy that journey because she is doing something that should bring her happiness both now and in the future. That fits with the underlying litmus test: "Does this make you happy now and in the future?"

If you don't like your action plan, you may have picked the wrong goal, or need to pursue a different path to reach it. A goal to retire at 55 so that the individual can spend time with his or her family sounds self-concordant. But if the action plan requires that the individual work extraordinarily long hours for the next 20 years, then what was originally self-concordant has morphed into the rat race. Maybe the "retire at 55" becomes "go part-time at 55" and then everything fits. Similarly, if you hate mountain climbing but like being on top of mountains you aren't going to enjoy the journey. You need to either figure out a different way to get up there or pick a different goal.

If all of this is overwhelming, pick a single goal that lets you accomplish some steps immediately. List every major to-do from today forward. You can get a sense of accomplishment as you dive in and line the first ones off. I think it's important to find at least a few things that you can start working on immediately -- and immediately means tonight.

Review your progress regularly and be flexible about your plan. It will change, even if you thought carefully about all the exercises. People change priorities over time because they look at things differently, or because their circumstances or environment have changed. Keep a balance between being flaky (changing your plan frequently) and being inflexible (not changing it even when it's in your best interest).

Going into too much detail about creating action plans is beyond our space limitations here, but there are many, many resources available if you feel in need of help.

What LifeTwo's Greg learned from doing the exercise

This exercise was difficult -- both because I had to do all the prior work but also because figuring out concrete action steps really forces you to imagine the changes you'll make in your life.

While I developed a few short-term happiness goals -- such as working to avoid daily nuclear escalations with my six year old daughter -- I thought a longer term example would be more valuable.

This goal is to become a better writer. Journalism was a road not taken for me, and while I've backed part way back into it here at LifeTwo, every day I read blogs, columns, and new stories that are better written than what I can create. I like the investigation and process of writing, but would be happier if I could stand back from a new piece and admire its exquisite framing.

As a goal, this also has the advantage of having near-term steps. For instance, while I don't think I need to go to Columbia J-school, UCLA Extension routinely offers feature and newswriting classes. And if I choose to educate myself, there look to be several appealing titles at Amazon.

So my steps this fall are:

• Read at least one authoritative book on feature writing and practice its lessons.
• Re-read Elements of Style. I remember admiring the clarity of Strunk and White's classic when I read it many years ago. Some of that would rub off even by just reading it again.
• Talk to a friend at the Los Angeles Times about the value of the UCLA Extension classes.

A problem with this goal is that "becoming a better writer" is hard to measure -- I can't take a photo at the summit and say I've accomplished the goal. But all goals aren't binary, black or white, yes or no. So I have to think some more about how to measure progress -- even if it's only my own internal critic writing the report card.

The Last Word on Goals from Author Penelope Trunk

Penelope Trunk has written extensively about goals and happiness on her blog and in her book The Brazen Careerist. In working with goals, Penelope devised a system for keeping hers at the forefront of her consciousness. In her words:

The centerpiece of LifeTwo's Happiness Week is Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar's book "Happier." For our summary, click here ... or go straight to its Amazon page.