Happiness Week Day 2: Hedonists and Rat Racers

Welcome to our second of seven days of becoming happier--LifeTwo's series of articles and quick exercises to help you improve your level of happiness. If you are just joining us, read this post first -- it contains links to all of our happiness posts and puts these articles in context.

Are you a Hedonist, a Rat Racer or Something Else?

Studying human behavior is no easy task and its variety can make it difficult to classify. But often we do act in ways that can be grouped sufficiently for useful analysis. One case is in how people approach the trade-off between present and future benefits. In his book "Happier", Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar describes the four archetypes of happiness (an archetype is simply a descriptor of our behaviors and attitudes in a particular area):

Hedonists
Rat Racers
Nihilists
The Happiness Archetype

Hedonists are people who tend to focus on the present and ignore the future negative consequences of their actions. The fact that something feels good in the present is sufficient justification for doing it. Take the example of a dieter who eats a hot fudge sundae. The sundae certainly tastes good in the present and brings pleasure for the moment, but it is likely to bring frustration later on when they step on a scale. Another example is drugs and alcohol, which provide present benefits of varying degrees but with much future detriment. A second attribute of hedonists is that they mistakenly equate a pleasant experience with happiness. Finally, hedonists err in seeing almost any kind of effort as pain that is to be avoided. The result: hedonists undermine their own happiness by undertaking actions that in the long run make them unhappy. And by avoiding things that involve present discomfort (such as effort), they miss out on doing things that in the long run would have made them happy.

After reading the failings of the hedonist model, it would be easy to assume that the optimal approach is for people to put aside any desire to enjoy the moment and to focus on accomplishing future goals. In other words, being willing to "pay one's dues" is the path for long-term happiness. This trap, focusing on the end-game while completely ignoring the present, is called the "rat race" archetype.

Rat Racers are the opposite of hedonists -- they eye the prize but not the journey. In school, rat racers focus on the final grade, not the enjoyment that can come from gaining knowledge. At work, rat racers focus on the promotion or the year-end bonus, not the joys that might be part of the daily activities of their job. In athletics, rat racers focus on the gold medal or breaking the record, and certainly not the joy of training. Rat racers make the mistake of believing that happiness is an either/or scenario; one can be happy today or one can work hard, accomplish goals and then be happy in the future. But to be happy today and in the future is impossible.

It's not surprising to see why the rat race archetype is so prevalent. We are constantly reminded why we should adhere to it. Take the example of our young students, who are told (in so many words) to study hard, get good grades, get good jobs, and make lots of money, so that then they can afford happiness.

Unfortunately, when these young students grow up, they take long commutes to jobs where they don't find joy but where they remain because they have good prospects for future promotions and raises. As they did earlier in their lives, our now middle aged examples are told to keep working hard and to ignore the things that might bring them joy in the present (like spending more time with their families) because they are told, and by now firmly believe, that as soon as they can accomplishes their next goal (making vice president, or becomes a partner, etc.) that they'll then be able to afford things that bring happiness. Rat racers are always sure that its the next goal that will bring them the happiness they have striven so hard to get.

But that day may never come. Even if it does, the happiness is fleeting or even just relief that is mistaken for happiness.

Those moments of goal accomplishment are few and far between in comparison to the time and energy that goes into accomplishing them. By focusing on the destination, rat racers fail to embrace the joy that can come from the journey itself. This is how top students in school can become partners at prestigious law firms, have wonderful families and live in big houses, and achieve every other criterion for rat race success ... but still not be happy.

Note that being a motivated, hard worker is not synonymous with being an unhappy rat racer. The issue for rat racers is that they fail to enjoy what they are currently doing and believe that it's only once they have accomplished their goal that they can be happy. The rat race archetype exists not just in school and business, but also in sports, arts (think of bands waiting for their big "break" to bring them happiness) and anywhere else where people toil away for that illusory future thing that will make it all worthwhile.

The Happiness Archetype

The above two archetypes, hedonism and rat race, might seem so extreme that people think the right approach is something down the middle. Enjoy a little bit here and there yet still work hard for things in the future. This approach, while better, still does not maximize happiness because the "either/or" approach to happiness remains. The Happiness Archetype tackles the question "How can I be happy now and in the future?" Dr. Ben-Shahar writes that "while present and future benefit may sometimes conflict--because some situations require that we forgo one for the other--it is possible to enjoy both for much of the time."

Students who love learning get both present and future benefit, as does the musician who really does love to play while at the same time working toward getting a recording contract. People who work at something that they like doing can still progress in their careers, and an athlete is focused on winning a race can still find joy in their training. Of course all journeys involve certain things that are mundane or unpleasant (studying for an exam, creating a PowerPoint presentation, auditioning for a record executive) and it is unrealistic to expect constant happiness, but the goal can still be to spend as much time as possible doing things that provide both present and future benefit.

From "Happier":

"Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."

"Happier" also discusses a fourth archetype: what Ben-Shahar calls the Nihilists. As you might guess, these are people who are resigned to believe that their present unhappiness will continue on into the future no matter what they do or how hard they work. They feel chained to their unhappiness. Martin Seligman calls this "learned helplessness." This archetype is outside the scope of our happiness week; if you or someone you know fits it, realize that short- and long-term unhappiness does not have to be permanent. The techniques and tools of positive psychology can work for nihilists too.

Exercise 2A: Enlightenment

Allocate 30-45 minutes for this exercise. Think about a period of time when you were a rat racer, hedonist or even a nihilist. Think about the emotions you felt and why you pursued each approach. What were the benefits you got and what price did you pay for doing so? Take notes. Now think of a time when you were truly happy. Try and transport yourself back to that time and relive the emotions. Once again write down what you are thinking. If you are like most people you will learn something about what has or has not made you happy in the past that goes beyond the simple pleasures that you may have written about in yesterday's enlightenment exercise. (Note: this is such a powerful exercise that in "Happier" Dr. Ben-Shahar suggests you do it over a period of days, doing each archetype on a separate day. We have truncated the process so that we can fit it into our 5-day program but you might want to revisit this and do it as he suggests.)

Exercise 2B: Implementation

Take the list of things that you did on your enlightenment exercise (1A) from yesterday and add anything to it that now comes to mind after today's exercise above. Having thought about different periods in your life when you were happy, are there new things that you'd like to add to your list? For example, you may not have thought that "learning new things" brought you joy, but as you were thinking back to periods of happiness you might have realized how much you enjoyed those periods when you were in school or at work gaining new knowledge or skills.

Next, circle the things that you like to do that you get to do regularly. Do you feel lucky that you get to do these things? Are you grateful for being able to do them? Research has shown that people who regularly experience gratitude enjoy higher levels of physical and emotional well-being. (Additional reading on the relationship between gratitude and happiness can be found here).

An excellent happiness tool is to keep a daily "gratitude journal" where each night you write down five things that made or make you happy. As with the other exercises, we've truncated them to fit our five day program but encourage you to extend any exercise which resonates with you.

What you can learn from doing these exercises

Nicolette (entrepreneur/blogger) and Rhea (Boston-based writer and blogger) agreed to do these exercises in advance and share some of their insights. Rhea noted

"The two happiest times of my life were these: When I was just out of college, I worked at a weekly newspaper in the Boston area. I was underpaid and overworked, but I was so happy to be working there that I ran, literally, to work in the mornings. I couldn't wait to get started. I had mountains of mail to open and the hours were long. Sometimes the computer equipment failed. But I had the camaraderie of my 20-something peers and a lot of hard work, and it was fabulous. My second happiest time was working on a political effort to get a question on a ballot regarding pornography and women's civil rights. I was in my 20s, the work was completely volunteer (unpaid) and I loved it. It was exciting, challenging, difficult. I worked with a group of wonderful women and men and we were all beyond dedicated to the effort."

In other words, some of Rhea's happiest times were periods of intense work, little money, but with strong and personally meaningful goals that involved challenging daily activities. This is a perfect example of the Happiness Archetype and it is not surprising that many years later the positive feelings still remain. Many of us have similar stories, especially from when we were young, but for some reason many of us subsequently failed to apply the lessons from these experiences. Instead we adopted a rat race mentality with regard to career, homes, and other financial benchmarks that we believed once achieved would bring us happiness. This pattern was mirrored by Nicolette:

When I was living the "rat race" life, I was driven. External expectations motivated me (proving myself to others) to push myself often beyond my physical limits. By the time I "retired" from advertising, I was a physical wreck. While I achieved my goals of starting a business and succeeding financially, I wanted out because the future only held more of the same.

There is a difference between having drive and being driven. Drive springs forth from internal strength and enthusiasm. Now, when I approach a work or home project, I make sure it's aligned with my inner compass and not some external or subconscious force. If I feel like I'm trying to shove my foot into a shoe that doesn't fit (aka "the Shoehorn Effect"), then I look at where the pressure's coming from. Raising something to conscious awareness is sometimes all that's needed to balance myself.

We hear a lot about work/life balance and I've identified four areas that, when they're balanced, create a happy, content life for me: Work, friends, family and money. When two or more elements are out of whack, then I'm unhappy and I use my inner drive to bring about change unless they are things I can't change (like the death of a loved one.) Then, I work to change my attitude. Overall, when I eliminate the element of time and "stop pushing the river," then I am happy again.

Tomorrow we continue our five days of happiness and explore the important role of "meaning" in happiness.

The centerpiece of LifeTwo's Happiness Week is Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar's book "Happier." For our summary, click here ... or go straight to its Amazon page.