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Are You Date Sated — or Hungry?

Dating Goddess's picture

Sate: satisfy (a desire or an appetite) to the full; supply (someone) with as much as or more of something than is desired or can be managed.

You know not to grocery shop when you are hungry as you’ll be tempted to take home things that aren’t really good for you.

The same is true in dating.

When you are “hungry” — lonely, bored, horny — you respond to or make contact with men who you normally wouldn’t find appealing. You go on coffee dates with guys you know you don’t have an ounce of interest in just for something to do. You may accept a second date invitation if he isn’t odious. When you’ve had your dating “fill” you have to awkwardly disengage, declining additional dates, leaving the guy bewildered at what happened.

However, if you’re seeing someone you like, even if it isn’t serious, no one online looks appealing. If you receive regular emailed matches you automatically hit delete or give them a quick scan. No one entices you to respond or make contact. You are date sated.

You can also be disinterested in dating when you are satiated by other activities in life. If your appetite for affection, attention, and activities is quenched from other sources, you are not drawn to potential dates. You ignore winks, emails and maybe even phone calls. You have pushed yourself away from the dating table. You say, “Thank you, but I’m full.”

Shortly after experiencing a difficult break up, I binged on my matches like a starving woman who hadn’t had a morsel in months. I contacted men to whom I normally wouldn’t have been drawn. I met them for coffee, and then had to send the “We’re not a match” email afterwards. I was not being discerning — devouring everything that was put before me. And while I believe in experimenting, just like at a buffet, and at least “tasting” (meeting) men who are the least bit appealing, I guzzled coffee dates as if it were my last chance to meet anyone.

Notice how you feel about dating right now. Are you ravenousness? Slightly hungry? Or satisfied? This will determine how you approach dating.

______________________

Want to read other of the Dating Goddess's insights, advice and stories? Go to http://www.DatingGoddess.com. Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.

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