Want to Improve Your Marriage? 'Do the Dishes Because You Really Want To' says study

It turns out that the it is the thought that counts, or at least what you partner thinks is the thought that counts.

According to two researchers at the University of Rochester professors of Psychology, if you do something positive for your mate, you will get far more benefit if he or she believes you are doing it because you genuinely want to. This holds true both for small sacrifices (like taking out the trash) or big ones (like relocating across country for their career).

University of Rochester research assistant professor Heather Patrick found that:

...partners who engaged in "pro-partner behavior" (PRB) because they wanted to—not because they felt pressured or obligated to—were more satisfied in their relationships, more committed to them, and felt closer to their mates following PRB experiences.

But she also found that people who simply perceived that their partners engaged in PRB because they wanted to were also more satisfied and committed to their relationship after a partner's PRB.

Patrick's research has implications for couples therapy and illustrates the crux of Self-Determination Theory: A self-motivated person derives more satisfaction in completing a given task, and is more likely to do it well.