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What’s your kissing quotient?
Submitted by Dating Goddess on February 28, 2007 - 11:41pm.
Recently I've had six dates with a guy, but only one passionate kiss -- on the fifth date! Before that I got pecks hello and goodbye. I began to wonder if he thought of me as a pal -- or worse, his sister! But he treated me and touched me in ways that said otherwise. I'd think, "This guy just doesn't like kissing," but before we even met he asked me if I liked to kiss and I said yes. So I don't think that's the problem. Only one other guy took more dates -- six -- to passionately smooch. Other guys have locked lips too much and too soon -- some within minutes of meeting me. So I've begun to wonder if each person has a kissing quotient. And you have to work it out with potential partners so both person's kissing needs are met. There are several kissing quotient criteria: * How soon -- After first meeting someone, at what point do you feel it is appropriate to passionately kiss? This can vary widely depending on the person and the attraction you have to each other. However, do you have some general guidelines? Tyra Banks has said she never kisses on the first date, and if a guy tries to plant one on her lips, she turns her cheek. She wants him to really want to kiss her during the second date! * Frequency -- Some people like to kiss a lot -- both pecks and passionately. Do you like a lot of kissing, some, or hardly any? Some people can interpret lots of kissing as lots of attraction. Others feel it shows neediness and clinginess -- or horniness! * Timing -- Do you like kissing anywhere you feel drawn to your partner -- on the street, in the movies, in a store, or do you prefer private necking -- in the car and at home? Or do you like making out only in bed? * Duration -- Some folks like to kiss for hours. Others for only a few minutes. What's the length of time you're comfortable necking? * Style -- Some people have no kissing foreplay. No nibbles or suggestive busses. They just start full bore. If you like nibbles and he's a "full court press" guy, there's a mismatch. I've even tried to teach guys how I liked to be kissed, with not a lot of success. Of course, all of this depends on how much you enjoy canoodling with the other person. If you don't consider him a good kisser, you're probably not going to extend your lip-locking activities. Hmmm. Maybe my beau du jour doesn't like my kisses! Or maybe he is afraid they will make him get weak knees and he'll lose his decorum! ______________________ Want to read other of the Dating Goddess's insights, advice and stories? Go to http://www.DatingGoddess.com. Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com. Read Similar LifeTwo Stories:Find More By Clicking On These Links:Topic: Relationships
Tags: happiness | baby boomers | positive psychology | women | dating Type: Feature Actions »
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help!
I have a disability due to an accident a few years ago that causes a problem with my speech. I also have trouble eating and swallowing due to having part of my tongue removed. Sound lovely? I am single, never married and attractive. I used to enjoy oral sex with a man. Now it is painful and I feel I am not effective. I want to date and be intimate. I would like to speak clearly but that is not possible. I would like to eat normally but can't do that; most of all I would like to enjoy the intimacy of a deep mouth kiss and normal intimate activities. What can I do? This is all new to me. No doctor or therapist has a clue of what to say. I want to be the woman I was, not with my soul trapped in this horrible train wreck of a body I am left with. Do you all know how lucky you are to even be having this discourse about being an effective kisser? alternatives are not the same and neither is being alone forever. why was i allowed to live if the doctors who saved me could not help me how to cope with living with this? I am not even in the game. Please offer only helpful suggestions if you have any. No prayers, no pity or freak seekers. I want to try to be whole in some way again.
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