Why Gen Y's Midlife Crisis Will Be A Doozy

What will happen when a generation that's been told it's special in every way faces middle age?

It's not going to be pretty. New research says that Gen Y is more narcissistic that prior generations. And that means they aren't well suited to the mid-course corrections necessary in midlife.

Gen Y's midlife crisis may be the largest in history.

It's All About Gen Y

Jean Twenge of San Diego State University lead an analysis of twenty-five years of psychological surveys of college students. The team's findings: almost 2/3 of today's students had narcissism scores higher than the 1982 average. Thirty percent more had narcissism scores categorized as "elevated."

A narcissistic person generally has a high opinion of his or her competence and innate superiority to others, regardless of whether that opinion is validated by outsiders or any actual achievements. "Self-centered" and "egotistical" are frequently used to describe narcissistic people.

Narcissism has some correlation to self esteem, which should be no surprise, since Gen Y -- the Boomer's kids, born between about 1978 and 1998 -- have been bathed in self-worth since they were infants. Bruce Tulgan of management training firm RainmakerThinking told USA Today's Stephanie Armour that "unlike the generations that have gone before them, Gen Y has been pampered, nurtured and programmed with a slew of activities since they were toddlers, meaning they are both high-performance and high-maintenance."

Just Wait Twenty Years ...

Although a full-blown 'midlife crisis' affects relatively few people, two groups are especially susceptible: those who have a pattern of poor adaptation to emotional stress (let's call them 'neurotic'), and those who do a poor job matching their self-image with reality. The latter group has been found to do poorly on tests of introspection and score high on measures of denial -- dealing with problems by not thinking about them.

Dr. Ronald Kessler, a key contributor to several milestone studies of psychological health and age, told journalist Winifred Gallagher in The Atlantic:

"Take the guy who still thinks he's a great athlete. Somehow he hasn't let reality intrude on his boyhood fantasy. But one day something forces him to wake up. Maybe he's at a family reunion playing ball with his twelve-year-old nephew and he can't make his shots. Suddenly he's an old man, a failure."

Heading for the same kind of shock are the people banking on the big promotion that their colleagues know will never happen, along with those who believe that hair transplants and breast implants mean eternal youth.

"Such individuals have to work hard to maintain their illusions," Kessler says. "They spend a lot of energy on the cognitive effort of self-delusion, until reality finally intervenes."

In contrast, while many people go through a period of self-assessment at midlife, that's separate from a constant process of mid-course corrections that keeps their self-image in line with reality. That healthy introspection is exactly what's lacking in narcissistic personalities.

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What happens when an entire generation that's received nothing but praise can't make that jump shot, gets passed over for the "sure thing" promotion, or are no longer the hottest thing in the room?

Kessler, now at Harvard Medical School, told LifeTwo by email that "(Gen Y) are ill-prepared for this possibility. This combination has the makings of serious problems downstream unless expectations and reality get more in line."

Perhaps more Gen Y'ers will go through classic midlife crises, and they'll be deeper and longer than the current norm (a period from a few weeks to two years). Whether they can make the necessary adjustments is questionable -- narcissism generally can't be treated. In forty years we may have a lot of unhappy, but self-satisfied, sixty year olds.

We may already be seeing the impact of a more-narcissistic generation -- the recently trendy "quarter life crisis" seems to be a leading indicator. Many of the cloud of emotions grouped under "quarter-life crisis" have to do with frustrations with reality not matching up to expectations -- for instance, not having a job suitable to one's perceived intellectual ability. The cause could well be the increased narcissism Twenge's group identified, and the quarter-life crisis is when Gen Y'ers with inflated self-worth and lack of reflection meet the real world.

The good news for the people going through this phase is that they may be the emotionally healthy ones who, at midlife, will be no better or worse off than their Boomer parents or Gen X siblings. Their peers who fail to adapt will be the ones facing bigger disconnects in twenty years.

Or will Gen Y cruise full speed ahead, ever convinced of their wonderfulness and denying any disconnect from reality? Three-quarter life crisis, anyone?

Midlife Crisis, circa 2018

Today between 5% - 12% of people suffer a "classic," turbulent midlife crisis. Whatever segment of Gen Y is afflicted, their unique traits will make it a different type of upheaval than the midlife crisis we know today.

Expect to see more of the stereotypical midlife crisis. Here at LifeTwo we talk about the "midlife excuse" midlife crisis -- where someone, usually a man, uses "midlife crisis" as an all-purpose explanation for bad behavior that they likely would have engaged in anyway. Expect to see that amplified as Gen Y goes through the midlife crisis years -- there's nothing like a self-absorbed narcissist who wants to misbehave.

Midlife will have some new, unpleasant features. The AP notes that narcissists "are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth, and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty, and over-controlling and violent behaviors." If they face the midlife trauma of a meeting with reality, it won't be pleasant.

The Boomers, Only More So

Many older Boomers are pondering their generation's legacy -- is it their activism? focus on the self? willingness to try new things? But they may overlook their most lasting impact on society ... their children.

The Boomers were once known as the "Me Generation" and, when they hit middle age, popularized the idea of midlife crisis. Just as their Gen Y children have taken the "Me Generation" to new heights, they'll take midlife crisis in new, and more unpleasant, directions.

We have ten years to get ready.

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