The Neurochemistry Behind Romance and what it means to would-be Romeos

What is love? According to University at Buffalo psychologist Mark B. Kristal, love is brain peptides, pheromones, and smell. In his words,

"...a variety of different neurochemical processes and external stimuli have to click in the right complex and the right sequence for someone to fall in love."

So, short of brain surgery, how does a suitor prepare to woo the love of his life? Start off by getting an understanding of the physiology of bonding.

First, he says, is how you smell.

The specific odor you want will be based on the specific "learned or cultural preferences, such as the smell of a dozen long-stemmed red roses." (In short, in western culture at least it is better to smell like a strawberry than mildew.)

Next are the pheromones.

Unfortunately little is understood about these unlearned and unsmellable signals to the brain so there is little that you can knowingly do to influence these. The good knows is that over time the other cues (visual, regular olfactory, auditory and tactile) strengthen with with the bonding making them less relevant.

Finally, the brain.

"Two related brain peptides, vasopressin and oxytocin, have been shown to be involved in both the permanent or long-term social bonding that underlies mating. The neurotransmitter dopamine, in a part of the brain called the VTA, is certainly involved in the rewarding properties of love and sex."

This is a jargon-ridden sentence saying what most people intuitively know. When they find a mate attractive, they feel different and science is showing that this difference is in fact involves chemical changes in the brain. (See this post about how brain MRIs show that "love" appears to affect the brain in a similar fashion as mental illness).

Kristal ends with this word of advice. Aphrodisiacs -- foods, drugs and other substances that claim to increase sexual interest -- are a myth and advises that it would be better to smell good and look successful in order to attract your desired mate.