Midlife Divorce Watch: Make sure that your self-filed divorce went through, many don't

"Quickie" divorces fail just like "quickie" marriages.

It is believed that the majority of divorces filed in the U.S. are so-called "do-it-yourself" divorces where divorcing couples represented themselves without the aid of an attorney. [Nationwide data is scarce but in California 80% divorces are handled this way].

It is believed that up to 30% of the time "do-it-yourself" divorces do not go through and sit in legal limbo while the parties remain legally married (whether they want to or not and whether they are even aware that they are still married). Many times it is just because the paperwork wasn't handled properly or some other technical reason but that doesn't make it any less of a problem if the couple wants to move on with there lives.

There have been many cases where people believed they were legally divorced, then remarried only to later discover that they are technically bigamists. Others may have some understanding that their divorces haven't been completed but aren't sure how to navigate the legal system without costly attorneys so they just let their divorces sit in judicial limbo.

One judge in Los Angeles County was so alarmed of the number of cases that he was seeing of this type that he had a study done and found that a third of the divorce cases filed in the early 2000s remained open. Another study in another part of the state also found that 30% of divorce cases filed did not complete the process. While some of these cases may involve parties that have reconciled, many include couples who believe (and are acting as if) they are divorced.

Some people are under the misunderstanding that if there is a problem with the divorce that someone will notify them. It often doesn't work that way.

If you handled your own divorce you need to make sure the process was completed and a judgment was entered. If you are contemplating a do-it-yourself divorce make sure you follow-through with the process to the end and understand that it "ain't over until it's over."