New discussion topics I'd like to see

We agree that is an interesting and relevant topic and we will look into having a discussion topic on it as well as writing more about it.

Wesley Hein
Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com

We cannot know what an individual is capable of, including ourselves. We cannot know how or when we will find out. We will be surprised still on that day.

Greetings to you all

Three months ago my H left just up and left after we had a fight. To make a long story short, I went through all the classic symptoms, my fault, had to correct my behaviour, went (still) going to therapy, begged, pleaded, acted in irrational ways.. the whole nine yards...and he had all the classic symptoms of a mid-life crisis...At this point and time I can honestly and truthfully say that I am at peace with what has transpired in my life, I hold no anger, bitterness, and most of all I forgive the way my H has chosen to live his life. How you say?? Well, it was not easy..there was a lot of crying, a lot sadness, a lot of self-pity, a lot of anger, a lot of bitterness, a lot of EVERYTHING all meshed together. I have come to the realization that I CANNOT change the way another human being feels, and that most certainly encompasses the way they feel about me. I have come to terms with the fact that I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling ANGER, BITTERNESS, HATE towards my H...and most of all do I want to end my marriage the way I/we started out and that is with LOVE. If you think about it...it really is easy...What will ANGER, BITTERNESS, HATRED accomplish??? it will accomplish NOTHING absolutely NOTHING!!!! other than you feeling horrible by carrying the most awful feelings with you of ANGER, BITTERNESS & HATRED!! The rest of your life will be filled with those God Awful feelings that will not allow you to heal and go with your life. Remember this, YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!!!...and by doing this, I have taught my H, how I want/need to be treated...and his ANGER, BITTERNESS, HATRED has truly subsided since I have shown him that I no longer harbour those feelings. I wish him the best, I wish him all the happiness...and by doing so....I wish that for myself as well....Whatever is meant to be will be..whatever my path in life is I will take....whether is is with my H or not....the path has now been mapped....and I accept it...this is the key word...ACCEPTANCE....hard to swallow hard to accept...one must ACCEPT what has been thrown their way....easier said than done I know..in time you will hopefully feel the same way I do...It does take a lot to be this person...in the long run...YOU will prevail.....by showing the other person LOVE & COMPASSION....you will prevail.....please find PEACE, LOVE & ACCEPTANCE within yourself before you are able to give it to the one YOU LOVE!!!.....If you truly LOVE someone LET THEM GO...

Mary

Much of my career has been working in an office environment; never saw myself doing anything 'but' that, since I liked the structure of the work day. However, through a series of job changes, I find myself now working remotely for a company, in my own home. I absolutely love the work (first time in my life I can say that), but I do miss the 'social' side of being with other people. Would like to hear from others who may be in similar situations.

"Would like to hear from others who may be in similar [telecommuting] situations."

I've essentially been telecommunting for the past 3 years--which is the amount of time that we've been working on LifeTwo. My partner Greg lives/works about 45 min away and our contributors are spread across the country.

I haven't missed the social side all that much because I fulfill that need by active emailing/texting/chatting with friends and co-workers. Plus by working at home I see far more of my kids than I otherwise would.

I am also an active Masters swimmer so I see a group of friends 3-5 times a week for a swim workout.

My initial problem wasn't social, in fact it was the opposite--so many distractions during the day. I've addressed that my starting my work day very, very early in the morning (about 5 a.m. most days) so I have a few hours before anyone gets up. I also generally put in an hour or two after everyone is in bed. This gives me the time during the day to not only be interupted but to enjoy the visits from my kids while still getting everything done that I felt should be done.

Wesley Hein
Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com
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