I was the "good guy" in my divorce. My old friends turned out to be priceless in supporting me through this. Not "yes men/women" but rational, patient and down to earth. They pushed me. It was painful to heed their admonitions at times but I trused them. These are not girlfriends or anything like that. Some I've known 20 years. Divorce knocked me flat on my rear. I've never been through anything like divorce so I never needed to lean on people to this extent. I never knew how vital friends - and prayer - were. Thus, this unpleasant divorce turned out to be an awakening. If "birds of a feather flock together" I must not be too bad a guy to have friends like this. My friends taught me lessons I'll never forget.

My wife, meanwhile cloisteted herself in late blooming friendships with dysfunctional people - new friends - who, in part, influenced her that she deserved to be happy, did not have to work on the marriage and that anything going wrong in her life was my fault. She swears they are the best, though all of them have wrecked homes/marriages, job problems and a ton of mess. These people will never help her grow. They'll never challenge her to look at herself. It's "blame,blame,blame." She's happy with them because it's just the environment for her.

I feel like I'm living the fable of the tortoise and the hare. I had to take the more painful road. I grew and had friends who could help me along the way.

My wife is ensconced in a world of narcissim and denial where one does not face themselves. Wrap yourself around negative people, cast blame seek entitlement. Don't know how this will turn out but I think I'm already on the right road.

Don't know how this will turn out. I do feel more connected to peopleI