This may sound trite, but it's true. It does get better. It just takes some time. Two years sounds like a long time, but it's really not. You can't go back to the way you were single before you married, because you are a different person than you were then. So you pretty much have to "reinvent" yourself. The loneliness undermines this process. There is no magic bullet or easy answer, because it is indeed a process.

For a while, exploring new hobbies and interests can seem fake, because your heart isn't in it. But eventually you start to discover things in yourself that you didn't know were there, or never had time to explore before.

In terms of finding a new partner, you have to be patient. I was 43 when I became newly single, and I felt a sense of urgency to find someone before I got "old." I made mistakes, and learned from them, and now, at 47, I have realized that there really is no rush. As you said, 50 percent of the people your age are in the same boat, and they aren't going to all disappear before you are ready.

It is hard to find people to talk to who can relate, although I'd venture to say it might be easier for women than men. But again, with so many of us in the same boat, there are a good many who have moved beyond the pain of the split so that spending time with them won't just remind you of your own pain. Finding those people is difficult, just as it is always difficult to find new friends that you can really talk to. Building friendships also takes time, so it's really a solo effort for a while.

I can see that you know how to write, and writing is also therapeutic, especially if you have someone to write to. For me, I found myself spending a great deal of time talking to people on the web. I don't need that as much now, but for a time, it was more satisfying than forcing myself to attend activities where I might or might not get to actually talk to anyone with any depth. People kept telling me that it was more important to "get out" and do things with "real people" but in reality, if you look at most people in a social situation, they are there with someone else or a group of friends, and even if you are outgoing and gregarious (which you don't always feel when you are struggling) you can be more lonely than if you stayed home.

So... just keep on keeping on, and it will get better.

Patricia