So much for trying to be nice to the STBX. Here's what happened so I figured that I should post it so that it may help others:

Well, where do I begin. I have been working on being nicer to the STBX and was going to let her stay until she found an apartment.

Then, tonight, she was acting super nice. Too nice. We had watched TV while she rode the exercise bike. Afterwards, she mulled around and sat at the computer. I could tell she was wanting to ck her work email. I went into the other room and walked out quickly. She had her email up and closed it quickly. I confronted her and as usal she strongly denied it. I told her to open her email if there was nothing to hide. She was nervous as hell.

She finally admitted that she had met someone at one of the work mixers and they were emailing and seeing each other. She said that they had not been "together yet". I went ballistic... a controlled ballistic. what I mean is, I was relieved to know what most of you and my gut already knew. I just wanted her to feel my pain and be scared. I never touched her or threatened her. I just wanted her to see what I was feeling. I was kind of laughing inside because I new that she was freaking out. For once, I was in control.

I called her mom and dad and told them to get ther room ready because she had cheated on me. I was polite and calm. Her mom cried and told me that she was sorry and loved me. I told her I was sorry too. The STBX was begging me not to call. Too freaking bad!!!

I made her pack her expensive clothing and all her easy to carry crap. I threw her clothes on the floor. The whole time my son slept in his room. He never woke.

My friend came over just to make sure I was ok and I am. I think I reacted strongly for two reasons:

1) I wanted her to finally know what was being done to me for the last 3 weeks. She has let me suffer and beat myself up while she was having this affair.

2) I wanted to end it once and for all. No way back. Never give her or me a chance to give it another try. I want to move past her. I never want that again.

I have been beaten down for years. Nothing in this house is mine. I mean, everything I had was stupid or worthless to her so it went in the trash. My little worthless life meant nothing to her (so she thinks). I need to find myself and find my dreams again. The Harley, the 68' Cadillac, the camping trips, all of the things that I like to do and that were erased. I let it all go because she needed to be in control. As they say, today is the first day of the rest of my life. Never been more true than now.

I will always look at Fathers Day as an Anniversary. The day I started to live again.

I will also now be very civil to the STBX for my son's sake. I am going to kill her with kindness. I am done being angry. I want to be happy again. I want to let it go. I know I have a long road ahead but I am ready. I am going to not talk about her or the situation as much as possible. I will not get into it with her when I have to see her.

Well, I need to get some sleep. My boy will be up in about 5 hrs. He is looking to go to breakfast and then Fishing for the first time. Big day. My day. Love you all and I will need you as I ride the Rollercoaster. Help me be happy and strong. Good night and Happy Fathers Day to all the Fathers!