My heart breaks as I read these letters. I am a stay at home mom of 6 kids(ages 9-19)in a 21year marriage. Friends and family praise my husband for his unbelievable work ethic and devotion in church activities. Usually working 80 hours a week or more.
In the mean time I am dying of a loneliness so painful that I physically ache. I have tried for years to explain to him the need for an intimate relationship. Some form of connection. Some type of communication. To no avail. Now I am done. I feel physically exhausted. He is a wonderful intelligent man who sadly has never needed anyone in his life. I have basically raised 6 wonderful kids on my own, kept myself in great shape, manage the house but unfortunately I have no "world" skills. I have not worked in 19 years. I also have no education beyond High School. I feel trapped and yet I love my kids enough to know that divorce would hurt them deeply. Having 6 kids is hard in that I can not just go "find" myself. I don't have the luxury of alone time.How do people live in a loveless marriage? How do you fill that ache in your soul? It is 4am and I am sitting here in tears but knowing everyone will be up for church in a few hours and life will go on as usual. Thank you for allowing me to be able to type this.