" I don't know if this is a midlife crisis depression or what"

I'm not sure the specific label matters. Your husband is certainly having issues and it is good you are going to counseling. I'm not sure which is stranger, the fact that a co-worker of his is telling him of her "grooming habits down there" or the fact that he comes home and reports them to you. He could certainly use some personal counseling as well.

In my opinion, it's okay to have changed quite a few jobs by 26 and I'm sure that it's not uncommon for 26 year olds to have not been at the same job for more than 2 years. However you and your husband have 4 children so the time of young adulthood that others might have to find themselves is much less of an option for you and your husband due to your family responsibilities. I'm sure you know that the biggest concern for many people your husband's age is where they will go snowboarding or what kind of beer to bring to the party. However you and your husband have far, far greater concerns and issues and (to me at least) it's not surprising that at 26 he's finding himself off balance. I hope things work out for all of your sakes (you, your kids and your husband's).

By the way, make sure that during this difficult time you are taking care of your needs as well. Between 4 kids and a troubled husband things like eating properly, getting exercise, etc. can fall off the charts. Make sure that you are working your own personal support network of friends and family as well.

Wesley Hein
Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com
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