You're trusting and loyal and you're trying to hold on to your marriage. Those qualities make you vulnerable but they're not foolish.

Your wife should come clean and fess up. Then maybe you could start on the road to recovery. It's your wife who is the fool. The lying, selfishness, sneaking around, neglecting the kids. Then she spins it around so you're the bad guy because romeao is afraid of you. My wife has done something similar.

It's stunning how people are willing to blow it. How is an affair better than working on a marriage? Whevetever made the person unhappy in the marriage will just follow them to the next relationship. Deceit makes it more disgusting. I have a low threshold for his. My wife demanded that I move and i said no. She's gone. I can barely stand to look at her. I don't see her as the same person. Respect is gone. She was my love but now there is nothing about her that I admire. I don't hate her or dislike her - I just don't feel anything for her. In fact I'm afraid of her. I, like you, am a trusting, loyal person and I don't want to change that aspect of my nature. So I I don't want to be in the company of people who prey on those chracter strengths. They take goodness for weakness.

I would talk to a lawyer for advice however. Everybody has a breaking point and your wife is very close. Good to have your ducks lined up. I would not leave the house. No need for you to be separate from the kids. Let her move in with romeo. Kick her out when you've had enough. She needs to taste the grass on the other side. I'm sorry about what you and your kids are going through.