I am the victim of the monkey-mind, the spouse. I'm 37 years old, and have been told I look 25. I work non stop,normally it wouldn't worry me if my husband said to me now lets go to the office on Christmas day, it doesn't bother me. I'm modest but can be very sexy, you know, scrub up nice. My husband and I had a beautiful marriage, like a dream really. I worshipped the ground he walked on, if anyone had dared to say anything I have lways taken his side, regardless. He's 55, this is my first marriage and his third (one wife cheated, one died); we've been married 11 years, 14 years together. Until last year he (sais) he has never cheated on a woman, much less on me.
We are financially (very) secure, having started our business from scratch, when we met.
All of the sudden, he became withdrawn, taking rides on his bikes (yes, a Harley, on of them). Then going on business trips on his own. Then complaining constantly about my family (two of them are employed by our company. I said: 'You either are having an affair or you're clearing the coast to have one'. He called me crazy.Possesive. Jealous. He started to make business decisions on his own, and then not bother coming to the office(work).
Anyway, I found a secret phone, full of messages from a 23 year old girl, a married woman herself. They talked about living together.
I was distraught. I cried endless nights, for the loss of (his)love, for the loss of our friendship, our trust.
I applaud you for having the dignity to annalise yourself and for deciding to step back and cool your head, for not falling into temptation.
Thank you for writting this letter, it proves that there is still some hope, some decent people out there.
I still love my husband, still love him,so much. I am utterly betrayed but somehow I still see him as a victim, you know. Of his own greed or a victim of this (other)woman's desire to have a better life (she is very poor,financially).
My husband is now mortified of loosing me, but he's still in touch with his "girlfriend" and he pretends nothing has happened, but I don't know because of losing a loyal person to the business or because he really wants me? He would loose a lot of money if we divorce or though I wouldn't dream of asking for one penny more than I am entitled to, I have my dignity. I wish my life would turn back one year...