Catherine, I agree that the earlier replies suggested that people equated being alone, or a singleton, with loneliness. You can feel lonely in a room full of people if you don't have a connection to them.

I don't normally have a problem being alone, although I prefer to be around people. Growing up an only child is a good preparation for periods alone. It makes you (me) more self-reliant, I believe.

However, recently I have felt very lonely. That's because I moved from the UK to Algeria. I thought that a complete change of scenery would help mend a broken heart. I hadn't realised quite what a culture change it would be. And of course, wherever you go, you always take yourself with you so I've been forced to confront my own beliefs and fears.

It has been very hard. Sometimes I even called friends back home and told them I was homesick - which I've never been before! Other times it was just a matter of gritting my teeth and hanging on in there. I did wonder at times if I'd crack up.

I think loneliness is tricky because if you own up to it you get the sort of advice that people have posted above - go out and say hello to people, as if you were some kind of social misfit. I think that saying you are lonely - or even alone, makes other people feel uncomfortable.

Having decided early on that I don't want motherhood or happy families I appreciate being invited to share things like Christmas with my cousins, but I'd much rather avoid the whole business. Possibly one of the problems of being outside the "conventional" family structure is that it can be harder to develop an alternative one. One of the strengths of families is precisely the fact that they carry on even if you opt out. There isn't the same inertia about friendships. They require more maintenance. You can't take them for granted in the same way, which is why (I suppose), when they work, they can be even more rewarding than families.

I seem to be drifting off topic so it's probably time to stop!