Your husband needs help. Your description is of an abusive husband. Emotional abuse is abuse just the same. The attempt is to strip you of all self-esteem, keep you from having any kind of friends or support group of your own and make you completely dependent on him. The stress will ultimately kill you. It's nice he bought you flowers but abusers will often try different tactics. If he is really serious about not losing you then he needs to understand that he has to change and the next step needs to be therapy (for him).

The fact that you can't register on an innocent website, talk to platonic friends, etc., because of his paranoia speaks volumes. He has no right to do that and while it's up to you what you do, at some point you should just start doing what is right for you regardless of his paranoia or his desire to control you.

The odds probably aren't too good that his recent "niceness" will last without addressing the fundamental issue of what is leading to his long-term abusive behavior. Hence, therapy.

I'm sure you know, 45 is not old and the only reason you feel alone is because the abuser you used to live with wants you to feel that way--it's the only way he feels powerful.

Without wanting to be even more judgmental than I've been, he makes me sick for what he is doing to you.