I appreciate the thoughts.

I see my pain doctor every month and she is a godsend.
Since husband is clearly unhappy, I told him in October to pack up and leave.
I told him I could no longer take his yelling at me and frequent criticism based on perceived wrongs [I "moved" his newspaper - no honey, I put it on your nightstand for you as I do every night].

For the first time in probably 5-6 years, he bought me flowers for our anniversary and has tried to be nice since. I'm not sure his nice-ness will last.... I can't figure out if he decided he loves me or hates the idea of losing the house to me.

I haven't registered this forum yet because H reads my internet history and my e-mails. That is why friends of 20yrs plus from college/grad school, (specifically platonic male friends), no longer e-mail me because he doesn't "allow" them to correspond with me.

Guess I'm feeling 45, old, and very alone.
Thanks for listening.