This is the first time I've found my way to this blog, so I don't have a sense of what normally goes on here, or how people usually use this blog. That said, has anyone ever heard of kindness?

Regarding goinglikesixty's comment, sure, she needs help not found in a blog. Nonetheless, does she deserve to be written off and talked over? What if this was the first time she had the courage to reach out to someone? Certainly if she had the childhood described, she was never provided with the tools necessary to fix all of this. What if you had addressed her, instead of the blog owners, and said, "Hey lady, I'm sorry for your troubles. The posters on this blog aren't going to be able to fix your problems. If you have a good job, you probably have insurance, and therefore you can get a counselor/psychologist/etc., to help you with your problems. This would be a good start. I hope you find happiness."

Regarding the second and anonymous post, you're presuming a lot when you say she "likes to be a victim." It sounds like this woman has no friends, so who would have ever "held up a mirror" for her to truly see herself. You may not realize it, but if a person's life truly sucks, and everyone the know is a negative influence or has similarly dreary lives, it's pretty hard to find a way out. On the flipside, maybe she does play the victim quite a bit. But since you don't know that, would it have been a bad use of your two minutes to send out a kind word (or not send out negative word), instead of talking over her and writing her off? So she reached out to the wrong resource, does she really need her hand slapped?

It's also good to remember that even highly transformed and enlightened people have places in life where they are stopped. As evolved as all of us are, there's always ways to be better. This lady hasn't made it as far along the path as we have, but as far as we know, she deserves compassion.

All that said, Cassandra, I'm talking to you now. Basically, you have problems that can't be fixed on this blog, but it's good that you're reaching out. You know a better life awaits you. If you have insurance through your job, you should be able to seek counseling--do it now! One important thing about counseling, if you don't like the first one you get, try another one. And another one. Find one you feel supported by, but who pushes you.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, pick one problem/issue and work on it. And take any little actions you can to make yourself feel better. Start taking daily walks. Go to a yoga class. Are you eating healthy? That will make a difference. Make your physical self stronger--that's sometimes a little easier than all the rest, and it'll boost your confidence.

Well that's all I can do on the blog. It's up to you to take action. Best of luck to you, Cassandra.

-Elaine