I thank you so much for your reply.

I think I am strong enough to get through this and get her back.

I figure my only option is to try and get on whilst improving myself.
We have 1 year before it is possible to sell our house and in that time I will be calm , confident and strong.

I cannot force her to leave her own home nor can I effectively force her to end the affair. Thats just how it is.

If I can be the sort of husband that somebody would desire then I figure that is my only chance.

I will not be focusing on her just living in the same house and caring for our children, Hopefully she will get to realise just how much she would be giving up.

Of course I do not know for sure that we could even make it work, that would depend on how effort she was willing to put in, cos mine is already firm.
The other thing is that obviously at some stage I will not want her back, but in the meantime I can be patient and strong and hope she sees the light.

I am not a bad man but now think we probably had bad communication problems and took each other for granted. I am now aware of things that might of hurt our relationship and can avoid them.

I have read much about MLC and depression and find solaice in these deffinitions to know that forgiveness would not be an issue.

In my mind I think this is my best course of action and really hope that I am right.

jdmelt