Let me get this correct. Your first husband cheated on you for years, the whole STATE knew except you. Now, you're married to some 52 year old dream boat, whom you only see 6 months out of the 2 year relationship (so, technically it's only ONE year) and you just happened to see an email whereby he wants bondage while he's in Thailand. Am i correct so far? But you won't let your current husband know that you are a sneak just like he is? And this relationship you call a marriage?

Sweetie, forget all this psycho babble, you have a problem with yourself, not the men in your life. You've got 2 husbands who cheated on you. Your current husband is cheating on you. Duh? There is nothing to understand. He is not having a 52 mid life crisis and if he was does that give him the license to mistreat you????????!!!!!!!!!

Stop being the victim and start being the victor. I don't care if you guys owned 1000 acres. What does that have to do with anything? Get rid of this guy before it is too late. Find out why you let these men walk all over you? And stop it! Stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated better and with respect. The whole state knew your husband was cheating and you felt embarrassed. What the heck are you feeling with #2. Who in their right mind would want a guy who secretly wants to go to Thailand and pay somebody to be bound? Tell him to go to Iraq. He can get it done there for free! That's how insane this sounds.

If you want an honest relationship with #2, tell him you read his email. Fess up. Otherwise, you are just wasting each other's time.