Thanks for your input. Yes, I know I was wrong to read his email. Believe me, I wish I had never seen any of this. But....I did. I cannot tell him I have seen it as he would definitely feel his privacy had been violated (rightfully so). He would leave me.

He has more pride than anyone I have ever known and I know he is ashamed of this fantasy. He would be devastated if he were to find out that I know. I don't think he could face me. He would be embarrassed and humilated to the point of ending the marriage. I have no doubt that he would. I cannot let this happen and will have to carry this to my grave. Even if our marriage were to end tomorrow, I would never tell anyone as I would never humiliate him.

His "fantasy" is a very mild role-playing, bondage fantasy with no pain or disgusting rituals, so no, I would not deny him. But I think a large part of the fantasy is doing it without my knowledge. Like part of the thrill of cheating is getting caught.

And yes, if he were to come to me and tell me this is what he wants to do I would give him my blessing. But I never got that chance.

Thanks again!
AME