I'm a married, 51-year old female. My midlife crisis was brought on by a cancer scare which resulted in surgery. My emotions were turbulent, chaotic, and I longed for perfection in my home life. I was seduced by a fantasy of my perfect life, and a perfect husband. It was pure deception.

I don't have a career, a job, kids, or a college degree. I felt like an utter failure. My husband lives on social security. I wanted to disassemble my whole life and start over, yet I knew this wasn't the right answer. My father ran off with the proverbial much younger woman. It was a destructive situation, and she left him in the end.

A) So at the height of my dispair, I sought out God by returning to church, joining a bible study group, praying and journaling. I'm a believer in God and Jesus as Savior, but I'm not a "religious" person. I was very honest in my prayer life and told God exactly how I felt and what I was thinking of doing. God was very kind to me. He opened my eyes through scriptures and sermons that He loves me perfectly and He wants to provide for me and protect me. He wants me to trust and depend on Him. I began to experience moments of peace in my turmoil. Books are a great resource for encouragement. For me, the Bible is my guidance counselor.

And the people in the Bible study group have been married a long time and some are a little older than me, so they made it thru this stage of life intact.

B) Prompted by books (secular and Christian) and sermons I heard, I began to practice gratitude by writing little thank you notes and expressing appreciation to anyone and everyone who assisted me in any way. If a clerk was nice to me, I wrote a note of appreciation to the clerk's boss.

C) I began to power walk. It gets my blood moving and gives me a sense of accomplishment and control in a uncontrollable world. I might even join a walking group like Volksmarch. Disciplined exercise is a new endeavor for me.

D) I'm working on accepting my limitations and focusing on my aptitudes and gifts. If it were up to me, I would have designed me with different abilities. I'm a global thinker who is artistic. Therefore I'm not very adept at handling detailed, logical types of jobs. That's a deficit in today's world. I plan to explore my aptitudes in volunteer activities and find low cost ways to increase my skills in areas where I'm strong.

It's been 10 months since the start of my "Crisis." I still have some days of longing for what isn't, not valuing who God designed me to be, and not being as grateful as I should be for the many blessings I have, but those days aren't as painful as they used to be, and God will get me through it. I'll be happier than I ever was before! I have hope. Peace!